School with HOD is actually taking you the time it should, and that time is much less than the average time a child is schooled in ps, so, really, that is going well - and you should feel good about that! That being said, in reading through this entire thread, 3 things stand out to me. #1 - ds's math. What a battle - it's wearing you down, and it would me too! I would either switch to another math program or set the timer for 20-25 minutes and not go past the time you set. I'd give rewards for math - maybe for every math problem he completes and gets right, he gets 1-5 minutes computer time that day, for example. Whatever reward you give, I would not make it something intensive for you to do (i.e. take him out for ice cream, buy him a certain toy, etc. - at least for me, these kinds of things are inconvenient, untimely, and don't get done). #2 - you need time for yourself!!! This is a need I have too. This is a need we have especially as homeschool moms. I used to be ashamed about it. Like maybe I was a bad homeschool mom because I needed some things just for me. I don't feel that way anymore, and I'm now much happier.
So, here's a bold idea for you to ponder... I think you need a time to go ride your horses once a week. I think this is a priority, unless it is an impossibility because your parents don't live near enough you to do this. I would put it in the schedule like you would an appointment and not miss it no matter what. I also think you need to go out with your friend and talk in person somewhere, like over coffee or at a restaurant, at least once or twice a month. Dating your dh 1-2 times a month is good to shoot for too. If you could have 1 outing with a friend or your husband once each week, I think you'd feel like a brand new woman. (That's what it did for me at least.) Last, an afternoon for appointments and errands without the dc once a week or twice a month. This is not too much to ask for, this is not too difficult to do. Someone told me these things 5 years ago, and one by one I added them to my life (minus the horse riding 
). I think we need to recognize when we are close to burnout, when we are very sad, when we are exhausted all of the time - and 99% of the time it may not have a whole lot to do with homeschooling necessarily - but instead how we feel we are living our life day to day. What would it take for you to be able to ride your horses once a week? Think out of the box here. Does your ds have to be in drama and AWANA's ? If he does, could your dh go with him, and you go out with your friend or grocery shop? Can you have a homeschool child or a neighbor watch the dc one afternoon a week or one evening a week? Can you swap kids, maybe having a play date for your dc at someone else's house one week and then at yours the next, then you go run errands or out with a friend or to appointments during the time the kids are at the other house? How can your dh pitch in? These are just ideas, but I truly want this for you. It changed my life totally. I am a very happy less stressed person now, and I even do well with my dh's traveling so much (about 90% of the time 
, I may never achieve the total 100% 
).#3 - it sounds like you are not sure you want to homeschool ds. This is a biggie and makes most of what I just typed above superfluous - other than #2, which you will still need regardless of whether he's at ps or homeschooled. If you get a chance to sit down with dh and talk this through completely, I think you'd have a better sense of direction there. I do want to encourage you that homeschooling has many benefits the best of ps's and private schools cannot offer. However, only you and your dh can know if those benefits are worth it.
I am praying, praying, praying for you. You don't have to feel bad about wanting some things for yourself, being weary in this homeschooling journey, and questioning some things - BUT - there are so many degrees of changes that can happen between putting ds in ps and homeschooling as you are. I pray God gives you clear guidance in what to do here, as each family's goals and purpose in life vary.
Love in Christ,
Julie