Homeschooling and relatives...

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wertzeemom
Posts: 29
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 7:10 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Homeschooling and relatives...

Post by wertzeemom » Fri Jul 31, 2009 5:40 pm

When we homeschooled our girls 2 years ago, our parents were WAY less than pleased. My mother said that I would 'ruin' our kids, and my father in law said, "they have to be in the real world sometime" - among other things! My mom actually said that she would have no part of it, and shut us out. For about 3 days :? We haven't told our families that we will be home schooling again, and I'm frankly a little intimidated by the prospect. I was wondering if anyone else had a similar issue, and how you handle it. Thanks!
10 yo DD -
8 yo DD -
3 yo DS -

MamaMary
Posts: 970
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:52 am
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Re: Homeschooling and relatives...

Post by MamaMary » Fri Jul 31, 2009 6:51 pm

Dear Mama,

Though my family did not shut us out they let us know that they were less than happy. I mean, how could someone who doesn't go to school to be a teacher, teach? Here I am starting my 12th year and going strong! They are all on board. Now I lead support group meetings and talk with moms all the time and my Grandma and mom stand there as though it was THEIR idea, :lol: :wink:

Here's an idea of how you could approach it:

Mom, it breaks my heart that you cannot be excited about this with me. I love you and value your opinion greatly, however Scott (dh) and I have prayed about this before the Lord, and we have to walk obediently as HE has called us. Just as you had to raise me to the best of your ability (and you did a Fabulous job, I'm forever thankful) I have to do the same with my children. I love you
Mary, Mama to 4 amazing sons and wife to one incredible husband! Come check us out on the blog: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/MamaMary/

AnaDawson
Posts: 47
Joined: Sun Jun 21, 2009 9:13 pm

Re: Homeschooling and relatives...

Post by AnaDawson » Fri Jul 31, 2009 9:34 pm

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I too have gone through a similar situation. I texted my family about our decision because when I had previously verbally told them our decision, they were somehow able to change my mind. I was verbally attacked and ridiculed for having made this decision and my family proceeded to have random people call and tell me my kids were going to be weird if we went ahead with our decision. My family got what they wanted for about a month, but the Holy Spirit within me and my husband would not let us off the hook. Every time we heard a sermon or read scripture we were reminded that God was calling us to do this and it had nothing to do with anybody else. Just remember, that it is usually not easy to obey something God has put on our heart to do. I know I am preaching to the choir, but I know it is nice to hear some encouragement. Back to what you could do with your family. If you feel a text is too informal, perhaps a letter or an email would be better. In my text I asked my family to please be happy for me, but they did not call me for a week. They only reason they talked to me at all is because I called them. There is still a bit of tension between us because I know I am not doing what they want me to do. Honestly, you have no control over their reaction. All you can do is pray for God to soften their heart for you and leave the results in God's hands. Just please be ready to receive them with open arms and show them Christ's love when they realize they have mistreated you and see how good your kids are doing. They may never realize they have hurt you and that is o.k. too. Remember all of this is the enemy's plan to trip you up and have your kids at his disposal. The enemy knows that you will be raising your children for God and is losing a battle. I have never experienced as strong a spiritual battle as when we decided to homeschool. It was a very difficult time for us, but it was also very sweet because it caused us to lean on God every second of the day. May God use this experience to draw you closer to Him than you have ever been before.

Blessings,
Ana Dawson
Blessings,

Ana Dawson

Mommy to:
Ava 7 BHFHG
Walker 5 LHFHG
Reed 3
Ella 1

rainbowacreshs
Posts: 137
Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 4:50 pm
Location: SC

Re: Homeschooling and relatives...

Post by rainbowacreshs » Fri Jul 31, 2009 9:36 pm

This is our first year with HOD, but not our first year homeschooling. We have been homeschooling ever since...well ever since the beginning. Our oldest dd is nearing 13 yrs old.
I have been blessed that my husband was very much on the band wagon for homeschooling as was my mother.
The rest of the family..... well the opinions and "information" and what was thought of our parenting really ranged from the "ok...its your kid" to the "she's gonna hate you cuz she'll probaly never have a boyfriend and get to go to the prom".
Over the years, my in-laws have begun to see the differences in our children versus my sister-in-laws. Our dd, though not without her emotional constipations (as my husband calls this time of life for our oldest), is extremely mature and mannered for her age. She also still holds that beautiful naivity and innocence that is immediately noticable by many.
For members of my side of the family, its still a mixed bag. They still are sometimes hung up on the idea of socialization and that I won't be able to "teach" chemistry. LOL, if done right, I won't really ever have to teach chemistry. The goal is to get dd to become an independent learner with her parents being guides/coaches. But still we keep on hand grade books, the portfolio and in the last year we found the art of notebooking and lapbooking which have become wonderful ways to share what dd has done in a school year without the boring report card.
We have in SC a variety of support-groups, some of them even organize proms..so I am able to tell my family that yes she will still be able to enjoy that part of "socialization" too. We keep dd immersed in as many outside functions as possible (church functions -including Bible Drill, youth functions, puppet ministry, 4-H, co-ops, and anything else that we can) and in the last year, I've stepped away and just drop her off at 4-H meetings so she can truly "socialize" without mom hanging over her. Thats been good, cuz it seems to pacify family that she's out and about with her peers and not at home all the time.
My husband has always maintained, that though we love our families, what opinions matter the most, and what we do should first and formost be what we-- him and myself, deem what is a right and true path for our children.
Through the years we have stuck by that.
In the last three years, God has truely begun to be the center point (my husband was saved just this past May) of our family. Our answer to family has changed to be we believe that God has called us to train our children and that by homeschooling our children we are stepping back from world view to allow our children to see His view of the world we live in..
Turn to God and ask Him for His will, ask for the veils to be lifted, and for words both from your heart and from His word to guide you as you journey in homeschooling. I only wish I had prayed that from the start, and maybe I wouldn't have had to feel like I was the only one batteling family members on what we believed was right for our child. I promise that I will pray for you and other families too.
Its going to be ok, as an old friend once told me... "Let go..and let God."
~Jasmine~
Married to a wonderful hubby since '95
DD Kasey 14 RTR Sept. '11 - June '12
DD Typhoon Tiffy 3yrs old beggining LHTH

Lil Ruth born April 25 2011..and just a pure joy!

MomtoJGJE
Posts: 1534
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 7:20 pm
Location: Gastonia, NC

Re: Homeschooling and relatives...

Post by MomtoJGJE » Sat Aug 01, 2009 5:33 am

Oh I understand... pretty much everything we do is "weird" and our children are going to either be weird or something... It's really strange though, because they don't really argue... they know it won't do any good. But you can tell they are wondering "why???" Last year I made excuses "well, she's just K age, and she already knows what she needs to know for 1st, so we'll see how it goes this year" Now it's just school. :)

In fact, I was talking to my mom last night... to preface this, they were here about a month ago and we told them that we'd be homeschooling again this year... I said something about starting school Monday, she asked who all was going to be in school this year, I said all three of the big girls, and she said "oh well you'll get a nice break then" and my response was a shocked "yeah, except I'm the TEACHER"... she laughed and said "well, then get them started working and take a nice break with a cup of coffee"... I rolled my eyes and said yeah! Dh says that she really has no idea... and that's true... she doesn't. I was a very compliant easy going child who just wanted to be left alone. I have 4 children who are not so compliant and don't want to be left alone. :)

anyway... the point is... don't let what they say bother you. They are not in your home and with your children. They do not know your heart. And likely they haven't even really thought about it because public school is so ingrained in our culture that it's hard to step back and really look at it.

Lora Beth

FiveLittlePeaches
Posts: 284
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 7:19 am

Re: Homeschooling and relatives...

Post by FiveLittlePeaches » Sat Aug 01, 2009 6:55 am

It's hard, I know. (((hugs)))

We've been through this with the family, and at this point, the topic is pretty much off limits. There is nothing they can say that will change what we're doing. I remember talking to two homeschool friends about this, and they both said it took several years for their families to get on board. Now, in both cases, they have full support.

You might want to give it some time, and hopefully they'll come around.

Joy

3sweeties
Posts: 430
Joined: Sat Apr 11, 2009 9:00 am
Location: GA

Re: Homeschooling and relatives...

Post by 3sweeties » Sat Aug 01, 2009 8:23 am

AnaDawson wrote:Remember all of this is the enemy's plan to trip you up and have your kids at his disposal. The enemy knows that you will be raising your children for God and is losing a battle. I have never experienced as strong a spiritual battle as when we decided to homeschool. It was a very difficult time for us, but it was also very sweet because it caused us to lean on God every second of the day. May God use this experience to draw you closer to Him than you have ever been before.

I needed to hear this today, Ana! Thanks for the reminder! :)

I will be praying that God will soften the hearts of your families, wertzeemom!
Jessica~married to my sweetie for 21 years!
[DS17]~U.S. HISTORY 2~2019-20
[DS14]-World Geography~2019-20
[DD12]~ RTR, DITHOR 6-8~2019-20
[DS9]~Bigger~2019-20
Enjoyed LHFHG, Beyond, Bigger, Preparing, CTC, RTR, RevtoRev, MTMM, WORLD GEOG, WORLD HIST, US HIST 1~LOVING HOD!

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