What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

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JoyousBlessings
Posts: 39
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2009 1:43 pm

What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by JoyousBlessings » Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:06 pm

Hello Everyone,

I have a four year old son that I had planned on homeschooling this coming Fall. I am brand new to all this, but loved HOD once I came across the site and all the wonderful lessons. My son will be five in August, so we will begin Kindergarten. I have my own in home childcare business also which works out well.

I was not really worried about my son not having others to play with due to my childcare business. Plus, he does play t-ball and he enjoys church activities. However, now things have changed. His best buddy that I have kept since he was two will no longer be coming to our house because he will begin preschool in the Fall.

That would have been alright still because I also keep a little girl who is three that my sons gets along with very well. Unfortunately, her mom was just laid off from her job, so their last day will be June 30th. : (

Now, losing both of those children is not a good thing for my son. He will now be the only older child here. The others are only 15 months and 9 months old. The only other little girl that will be here in the fall will have just turned three and she will only be here two days a week.

I am now very concerned about my son being lonely and bored lots during the week. I definitely don't want that for him. I know that we still do t-ball and church activities, but those are in the evenings. I am just thinking that having him here all day, every day without anyone really his age to play with is not going to be good for him at all.

I am trying to fill the spots for childcare, but everyone that is calling has very young children, mainly babies. Not good.

In GA. they have just enacted a new transfer law that allows parents to take their child to the school they would like for them to attend as long as the parents provide transportation and there is space available in the school. The elementary school in my district is just not rated well at all and so this is why I am looking at the new law possibly being something to help me out and feel better about possibly sending my son to public school after all. There are some really wonderful schools right near us and so if I could get him into one of those, maybe it would be best for him.

My question is... What would you do in this type situation? Do you think I am doing the right thing by possibly sending him to public school as long as I can get him into one I approve of, OR do you think I should still try the homeschool option and not worry so much about him not having friends during the day? That last option just sounds sooooo lonely to me.

Goodness, I am so torn. I had this all planned out and was very excited. Now things have really changed, and I really want what is best for my son. Any advice is VERY welcome. Thanks you and have a wonderful day. : )

mariaw
Posts: 155
Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 11:23 am

Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by mariaw » Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:08 pm

Well, there are a couple of positives to your situation. IMO, bored is good sometimes. Some of my kids' most creative times have come after an hour of complaining, "I'm bored. There's nothing to do." It will force him to find SOMETHING, and as long as you keep plenty of "imaginary play" toys around, and steer him away from anything against the rules :wink: , he will find something to do.

Also, think about most homeschooling families that don't have other children in their home. They rarely have someone their own age in the home to play with, and have to learn to play with all ages. That's a HUGE benefit of homeschooling--nowhere in the adult world are people grouped by age. I realize that the children you will have in your home are quite a bit younger, but it won't be that way forever. It gives your son a great opportunity to learn to love and respect those younger than him. I LOVE visiting the church where my kids do AWANA, where most of the teens are homeschooled. They are SO NICE to my young kids, really paying attention to them and interacting with them, even if only in passing. This is in contrast to the neighborhood kids around my home who want to play with my oldest, but make fun of her younger brothers. If you think about it, school is very much set up to create competition between the grades, whether field day, or fundraisers, or freshman hazing.

The bottom line is, pray about it. I realize some believe that hs-ing is across the board better for everyone, but I believe you truly have to be led to do it. God knows what is right for your son, and He will lead you there. It may be he needs more time alone without peers. It may be that He is bringing some older children to your childcare business. It may be that He wants you to send your son to ps. It may be something completely different than anything you can imagine. You and your husband are the only ones who can determine where He is leading, and give you the strength to follow through.

I'll be praying for you to have peace in a decision!!
dd9 - Preparing with R&S 3 and Singapore 2
ds7 - LHFHG
ds5 - LHFHG
dd1.5 - in charge of hiding all our pencils

water2wine
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Location: GA

Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by water2wine » Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:27 pm

I definitely would pray about it. I also live in GA and I have one with special needs so I can take her to any school I want that takes special needs. I still choose to homeschool because I feel it is a call from God. I also have a different idea about friends and socialization. I feel like kids are socialized by parents. Friends are nice but I want to help my child pick and choose their friends so we can make wise decision on that and find church is a great place to look for friendships. Plus there are tons of homeschooling groups in GA so there are lots of outlets there. And I feel that raising them in the Lord in everything is huge for us. That is just my idea for raising my kids and I completely understand we all have different calls and convictions. I think if you could spend some time in prayer God would be faithful to show you what His call is for you. And I think it really has to come from there, a conviction. There are lots of things to throw you off course either way so it is easier to pick a course and stay from it if you are operating from a conviction or answered prayer from God. No matter what you do there will be times of doubt but when you have that sense of knowing what God would have you do it really helps.

One thing that really helped me was to write out the things that were important to me and make a pro and con list for ps vs hsing. Then write out what I feel God would value in the same way. Also to think about what would God say to me if I were to meet Him face to face concerning educating my children. As soon as I did this my choices became very clear. And it has helped me to look back on what I found in doing that in times of doubt or struggle.

I think running a daycare and hsing would be tough but I know others do it. HOD would definitely be the way to go with having it all done and a very easy program to follow. On the flip side I think running to pick your child up here and there while running a daycare would be tough also. I think if you can get to a place where you really feel God has shown you through prayer and scripture you will be in a place of knowing His will for you and He will then make a way for you either way. It is a hard decision. I will be honest and say that I was completely against hsing and I felt my kids needed to be around other kids and other teachers. I was not up for the work that would be involved in teaching a child with special needs much less the semi large family I have. But through prayer and scripture I began to see it was what God wanted for us and my heart changed in ways I never thought it would. So I really believe prayer is the answer.

Praying that God will give you a peace and a comfort whatever His will is for you. :D It is hard to decide outside of His guidance and sometimes hard to be still enough to hear His voice around such an emotional issue like this. Praying He will be generous in showing what He has for you. :D
All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children. Isaiah 54:13
~Six lovies from God~4 by blessing of adoption
-MTMM (HS), Rev to Rev, CTC, DITHR
We LOVED LHFHG/Beyond/Bigger/Preparing/CTC/RTR/Rev to Rev (HS)

WigglesMom

Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by WigglesMom » Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:31 pm

Hi,
I'm originally from Valdosta, Ga. My sister still lives there (in brooks county) and you have to make sure the school is in your county and you are still required to get a release from the school district you are supposed to be going to in order to send to a different district and you have to have a hardship. I don't know what the hardships are exactly, but I know even though both her and her husband work in the district (lowndes) of the school they wanted to send him to that they didn't meet hardship criteria. He will have to go to a brooks county school if he goes to public school.
I just wanted to let you know this so that you could call around or visit the board of education in your district and make sure you don't need a specific hardship reason and a release from the ps district you live in in order to request a change of school. There is paperwork to it and you have to have it filled out by a deadline and you have to wait for approval (if you get a release from his school). I would be calling and finding out exactly what I needed to do to try to get him in a different school district, whether I needed a hardship or a release from his school (even if he has never attended you still need a release). Releases aren't easy to get either you have to meet their hardship criteria to get a release.
If you call and you find out you can send him where you want, then I would look at whether I wanted to really homeschool and what would be best for you and him. I just wanted to let you know this b/c my sister thought it meant you just go and sign them up where you want to go and it doesn't. It means you have to get a release from his school which requires a hardship, then take the release to the school you want to attend, and then that school has to have room after filling their spots from in-district children first.
Hope this helps,
Val

spidermansmum
Posts: 611
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Location: UK

Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by spidermansmum » Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:14 pm

My son sees very few kids his age.He sees lots younger,older.At first I thought I was really hindering his social development but actually he seems- despite his aspergers- to be able to make friends and play really well with kids all ages.Is he bored sometimes - yes.Again boredom isnt altogether bad and actually not having kids your own age with your own likes/dislikes means that you make more of an effort to get on with kids not your age,who like different things to you.In short it improves their social skills
- Delighted to have used LHTH,LHFHG and Beyond, Bigger , Preparing and DITHOR
currently Using
LHTH slowly with my 2 year old
Starting Bigger with my 8 y/o About to add on DITHOR
Finishing Preparing with my 12year with ASD/LD

tiffanieh
Posts: 200
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Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by tiffanieh » Mon Jun 22, 2009 6:16 pm

I think, personally, it really boils down to what are your fundamental issues. For us, sending our children to public school, no matter how "superior" the academics may be, or what special programs it may have, does not negate the evils that lie waiting to desensitize, demoralize, and indoctrinate our children at a VERY EARLY AGE in the public school arena. It is very slow, very sneaky how the devil works his will within the walls of your local school grounds, but don't be fooled that he's not there. He certainly is.

My goals is NOT to shelter my children from the ways of the world, but to prepare them to live in this world, from a biblical worldview. Grounding them in the Word, in who they are thru Christ Jesus, so that when they go out into the world they will be equipped to be leaders for Christ. They will stand firmly in their knowledge not only academically, but more importantly spiritually, so that whatever comes their way, they will know WHERE to keep their eyes directed. NO matter what school district you live in, what neighborhood you live in, what donors to what school system you belong to...your children will NEVER get THAT type of education down the road in your school zone.

I think it's simply a matter of deciding is it more important that he has "peers" to play with during recess time at school or for him to have a Kingdom Education, even if that means alone.

Pray that God will give you clear direction and guidance...if you felt Him calling you to homeschool him...don't second guess yourself just because the circumstances may have changed...God knew this. He knows how many children are going to be in your home next year, and their ages. If He called you, he knew the circumstances. Trust in Him and it will all be okay!!!

Blessings!!!
Tiffanie
http://www.thehagefamily.blogspot.com
Enjoyed LHFHG, BLHFHG, 1/2 of BHFHG and now doing PHFHG
Mommy to Ethan (10) and Ashton (9)

Jessi
Posts: 550
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Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by Jessi » Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:01 pm

I do day care too so I can really relate here more than most can. I just lost my daughter's best friend that I watched for two years because her mom's hours were cut. But I was going to lose her in the fall anyway as she is going to K. There is still one more little girl close in age to my daughter and she'll be gone 3 mornings a week for preschool and then I'll lose her in one year. So I can relate a lot. I wish I could give you a hug.

It is hard for those not doing day care to understand that you have "built in" friendships and playmates from an early age. They see these kids five days a week and then poof they are gone and it is almost like losing a sibling. It is hard for my daughter to adjust to the loss of a kid, esp. one that is her close playmate. When they are used to having someone around to play with and imagine with it can be a floundering time for our children to suddenly not have it. I am empathizing with you. And day care while a blessing can hinder outside involvement in homeschool groups and co-ops so I know that probably isn't an option for you.

Would it be possible to invite his friend over once a week in the afternoons to play? You don't have to lose that connection just because they are no longer in your care. The reality is that if you send him to school in a district outside of where you live (if you are able to) he wouldn't see those kids in any other setting so he wouldn't really be building friendships outside of school. The friendships he would form would most likely be "survival" companions to get through school as most of the time there is LITTLE socialization allowed in school. YOu are told to be quiet, sit down, don't talk, raise your hand, etc. He may have a couple of recesses every day and that might be good, might be bad. Who is to say really? But overall for the number of hours he'd be in school he'd be around other kids his age but he sure wouldn't be interacting with them a whole lot unless he wanted to incur the wrath of the teacher. And extra curricular activities or sports down the road would require a lot more traveling and commitment from you and may make it more difficult on your day care and home life. But it might not. I am only speculating here.

Here is my two cents: I would still homeschool for his K year. Commit to one year for now. See how it goes. Be proactive in engaging playdates for your son as much as you can but also allow time for him to play by himself and with the babies. If after this year he is bored and you feel like he would benefit from a public school setting then by all means put him in. One year won't hurt him socially to be "out of the loop." And remember that with day care, there are seasons of changes and it will get better. I am praying for you.

I just had an idea: Do you know any other homeschooling families you know well near you? If they are involved in a homeschool group perhaps you could see if they would be willing to take your son to these activities since you are doing day care or maybe try to set up some play dates near your home with them in the mornings. Just a thought.
Jessi
~~~~~~~~~
Wife to Brad for 10 years
Emma- 7 Beyond, DITHOR,
Logan- 4.5 LHTH, R & S workbooks
www.ourmodernmemories.blogspot.com - personal blog
www.modernmemoryfilms.com - our wedding videography site

8arrows
Posts: 965
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Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by 8arrows » Tue Jun 23, 2009 8:05 am

I copied Tiffanie's quote for myself:

I think it's simply a matter of deciding is it more important that he has "peers" to play with during recess time at school or for him to have a Kingdom Education, even if that means alone.

Public school is not an option for us, since Jesus's name is not allowed there, let alone praised and worshipped. Therefore, every time I am tempted to think my children could get a better education elsewhere (than home), or in your case "better" socialization, I remember, that if the LORD is not the center of it, it cannot be better.

I also agree about the playdates. His friend is not moving, he is simply not in your house every day. You will have to make time to have him over. We have friends that are 2 1/2 hours away for our older boys. We meet half-way and exchange now and then. It is worth it to us to have godly, like-minded friends.
Melissa, wife to Jim for 28 years
3 graduated, 2 using US 2, 8th grade dd using Missions to Marvels
Isaiah 40:11 ...He gently leads those that have young.

JoyousBlessings
Posts: 39
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2009 1:43 pm

Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by JoyousBlessings » Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:07 am

Thank you everyone for your responses. I have been in prayer regarding this situation and I will continue praying about it.

Please understand that I am not putting one thing above the other. For example, I am not making it more of a priority for my son to have lots of friends over learning about God. I am simply looking at the best thing to do for my son right now. I am looking at the big picture and all aspects of his life.

Jessi: Thank you very much for your response also. I do feel that you have a good understanding of where I am coming from since you also run an in-home childcare. Thank you for your understanding. I greatly appreciate it. Also, how hard have you found it to do homeschooling while also running a child care business??

Also, the little boy that my son was good buddies with does live quite far away. He will also be attending school all day long during the week, so getting together will most likely not be an option. Our evenings are busy enough with sports and church activities, as is our weekends. We are hoping that we can get them together every once in a while though. We will just see how that goes.

As far as the new GA. transfer law, it does not require that you must have a hardship in order to transfer. That is how it has been in the past. This new law simply requires that you are able to transport the child to the school. Also, the school has to have openings available. In my area, there are TONS of schools. The elementary school my son would be going to if I sent him to PS is literally less than five minutes away, but the one I could transfer him too possibly is only about eight minutes away.

Anyway, I will be praying about this very much. I am taking into consideration what everyone suggested and I thank you for your input. I hope you all have a wonderful day. : )

my3sons
Posts: 10698
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Location: South Dakota

Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by my3sons » Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:17 am

Joyousblessings - you've gotten some seasoned advice here from the ladies. Knowing the goals you and your dh have for your dc is a huge help in deciding how to educate your dc. I was just enjoying reading a biography of Teddy Roosevelt yesterday. Teddy was homeschooled, along with his sister. When Teddy was going off to Harvard, in essence his first schooling experience outside of the home, here was his father's sage advice: "Take care of your morals first, your health next, and finally your studies." This struck me as being very profound! I consider "morals" to be virtually impossible to teach without daily, Biblical discussions and study - also, it is nearly impossible to teach dc morals/character we long for them to have if we are not with them all day. I believe that parents are the prime socializers of dc. My dc are not involved in any extracurricular activities; they do play with their cousins once a week, or every other week for an afternoon. When we are around other dc, they fit in great with any age. They are happy, well-adjusted dc, and because we've spent time talking with them (and they with each other), they can talk quite easily with adults and dc of ages alike.

My dc are 2, 6, and 9 - all 3 to 4 years apart, and they are each other's best friends. I think your ds will do just fine with the interaction he has with you as parents, the daycare children, and the extracurricular activities he's in - that is much more than we are doing now, and our dc love their days at home. I will pray for you that God leads you to a decision that is His will. I understand your feelings here - it took me awhile to come to the place I'm at with the socialization issue - but I'm very content now, and I know that with prayer you will find the fit that's best for your family too. :D

In Christ,
Julie
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie

WigglesMom

Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by WigglesMom » Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:26 am

I'm glad you will have the option to choose what school your son goes to and transfer him if you wish from your home district. :D A family friend works for the board of education in Lowndes County and there you still need a hardship request even with the new law. There still is a deadline for the form in most counties and space available at certain schools will be given in a lottery style fashion. The law is unto intepretation and implementation by the various counties based upon a state standard and reads very vague. :?
I wasn't writing to discourage you from trying to transfer your son, but to try and help you if you wanted to transfer him. My sister went around for months and months saying she could just send her son to the school of her choice and she didn't have to do anything but go register him. Then when she went to register him for kindergarten before the June 1 deadline for transfer applications, she found out she still had to have a release from his school district even though he had never attended that school and a hardship reason. :o The home district school would not give a release without a hardship. This was under the new law.
I just wanted to help you in case you hadn't called and talked to the Board of Education and his home school and the school you want to send him to. If you have, then great and I am wrong. :oops: If not, then I wanted you to be aware and positive that you can do what you are wanting to do before stressing over whether it is the right thing to do.
Sorry if I came accross wrong.
Val

JoyousBlessings
Posts: 39
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2009 1:43 pm

Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by JoyousBlessings » Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:56 am

Val: You didn't come across wrong at all. I am just lucky enough to know many school teachers in this area who have informed me about the new transfer law this year. I do childcare for three teacher's children and my sister is a school teacher here also. They each knew of my plans to homeschool because of my unhappiness with the nearest elementary school to us (among other things) and were all excited to tell me about this new law.

However, I am going to approach everything very cautiously. I greatly appreciate your input because now I won't go into this blindly if something like that does come up. I will know that someone did indeed inform me of that. :P

Thanks so very much again for each of your responses and input. I really enjoy the advice and input I receive here. Have a wonderful day! : )

momof4girls
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Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by momof4girls » Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:16 am

First of all thank you for asking what would you do? All of the responses you received really put my small concerns to rest. My girls will be home this fall for the first time and I'm thrilled about it and so are they. So, a BIG "thank you" to everyone that responded to your ? and to you for sharing your story with me.It really helped me feel comforted in our decision to bring our girls home! Everyone made so many valid points about HS-ing! wow! My heart has been pulling for a couple of years now and finally the heavenly father gave me the answer I was needed a few months ago. I will have a 5th grader, a 2nd grader, pre-schooler and a toddler in the fall . I hope you find the answer you need with your son, pray,pray and pray some more. The answer will come!!!!!! Take care! KS mom
Stacey
Married to my sweet DH (Kelly) for 15 yrs!
Blessed with 4 beautiful girls!
Klaryssa 11 (CTC & DITHOR fall 2010)
Savannah 8 (BHFHG & DITHOR fall 2010)
Victoria 5 (TRL and LHFHG fall 2010)
Isabella 3 (trying to keep up!)

lmercon
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Location: Zieglerville, PA

Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by lmercon » Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:25 am

I would really encourage you to give HOD a try for the next year. It is such a wonderful program that exalts God and puts the truths of His word before your child daily. I really think that as the year progresses, your desire to send him to school for socializing will melt away as you experience wonderful and powerful moments with your child. A playmate will never be worth that! And, if you are creative and search out opportunities, I think you will find plenty of social outlets for him. My ds does community baseball, has a playdate with a friend weekly, participates in the homeschool gym program at our local YMCA, and spends time with his cousins. Next year, I hope to start piano lessons and Te Kwon Do. You can find lots of things to do.

As an aside, I was a ps teacher for eight years. There was a LOT of socializing going on throughout the day - the kind that I was trying constantly to STOP so we could get some learning done! The kind of real socializing in the form of play and cooperative activities was very minimal. Just something to consider.

hth,
Laura
Wife to a great guy and mommy to:
Ds(15) - using WG and loving it!
Dd(11) - using Res.to Ref and having a blast!
Ds (3) - our joy!
Two little ones in the arms of Jesus - I can't wait to hold you in Heaven!

Jessi
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Re: What Would You Do??? Advice Welcome Please : )

Post by Jessi » Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:10 pm

JoyousBlessings wrote:

Jessi: Thank you very much for your response also. I do feel that you have a good understanding of where I am coming from since you also run an in-home childcare. Thank you for your understanding. I greatly appreciate it. Also, how hard have you found it to do homeschooling while also running a child care business??

With LHFHG, it is pretty easy to do actually. For you it would be even easier than it would for me with the ages of kids you have as it sounds like all your kids would take a nap in the afternoon. If I were you, that is when I'd do a good portion of the schooling. Do the rhymes and other "loud" activities maybe around lunch time or something like that. I do the storytime with the Bugess books during lunch and that is GREAT as all are occupied with food and aren't talking. I just eat after I am done reading. I would highly recommend that.

I won't lie...homeschooling while doing day care can be VERY draining sometimes. And to be honest there are days where I don't get to a lesson because I am dealing with upteen different problems or behavior issues from one or more kids. Right now we are taking a break over the summer as I am potty training my son and one girl I babysit. I am literally in the bathroom a lot and I can't get into a lesson with Emma because I have to stop and go assist one of the kids in the bathroom. So I know for this season, we are putting it on hold.

I am thankful that as of now I only have 3 kids in my care and I don't intend to add any more to my numbers...Lord willing. Keeping my numbers low helps with me feeling like I am able to balance the juggling act of homeschooling and doing day care. I haven't always been this lucky. But if you are able, I would try to keep the number of kids you watch as low as possible financially to help with the homeschooling load that will intensify as they get older not to mention I have another one of my own that I will be teaching in just over a year as well. Yikes!

Lots of organization. That is something I am still trying to work out but it is the best advice I can give you.

I do think that if you give homeschooling a try this year with doing LHFHG you'll find that it will be the best way to determine if homeschooling and day carfe will be compatible for you as HOD is so easy to implement. I do know what you mean though. My daughter is very social and LOVES to be surrounded by kids to play with so I know that that will be the hardest thing I'll have to deal with with her regarding homeschooling. But I do feel like God has laid it upon my heart to homeschool. At first I was like, are you crazy God? ( I know not very smart...) I operate a day care and very involved in church and frankly I was counting down the days until she was going to go to school and I could start marking off all those milestones I remember from school. I was looking forward to a little more peace at home and to be just normal. But the more I waffled around the more I realized that God wasn't just calling me to homeschool my kids for their sakes. He was calling me to do it for my own. As long as you are in the will of God, your child will be alright. Whether that is homeschooling or public schooling or private schooling. I hope the best for you.
Jessi
~~~~~~~~~
Wife to Brad for 10 years
Emma- 7 Beyond, DITHOR,
Logan- 4.5 LHTH, R & S workbooks
www.ourmodernmemories.blogspot.com - personal blog
www.modernmemoryfilms.com - our wedding videography site

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