Prioritizing school/outside activities - advice?

[my2guys]

As I look toward starting our first "official" homeschooling year (K) in the fall, I realize that I'm going to need to really pray over and use wisdom in determing what outside activities we're going to be involved in. Even though we've been homeschooling for preschool the last two years using Little Hands, it's mostly been 3 times a week as we can fit it in. Starting in the fall, I feel that we need to make school the priority and fit the other things in. Ben is a very structured kid and as my hubby and I were discussing it the other day, he really felt that Ben would do better with a set time every day where he knew what was expected of him. So tell me how you did it, ladies! How much "outside" stuff do you do? Did you have trouble re-adjusting priorities when you started homeschooling? It's not like we do that much on the outside, but I still think we're going to need to trim it back somewhat or juggle some things around. Please share your stories. I admire you ladies on this board so much and I'd love to gain some wisdom from your experience.

[joyfulheart]

I have 2 in public school, 1 homeschooled.

They all get up normal time, eat, and when the other 2 leave for school, he begins his school too. We keep going until he is done. We do stop for a snack, or lunch if hungry. Usually, we get done by lunchtime, and then we can do fun things. It's really not that difficult.

There are days that we have doctors appointments, hospital stuff (other son has illnesses that require hospitalizations), etc... but we just work around it. School has to happen though-- we make it a priority.

[Candice]

Sharon,

It is interesting that you posted this today. As I was at my daughter's ballet class today I was wondering when we would manage to fit in school time today. We have an additional obligation this afternoon as well and it made me realize that school is not the priority around here.
My daughter is just five and we are just beginning her K year, but up until this point, school time has been getting done when we get around to it, and some days it will get skipped if we are too busy. I am realizing however, that it is becoming apparent that a schedule of sorts needs to be put into place for a few of reasons.

1# Both my husband and I agree that some sort of schedule needs to be put into place so that Danielle realizes that there is a time for study and a time for other activities. I don't feel the need to have her sit for a long period of time focusing on school, but I do want her to have some frame of reference for knowing when and how to focus on the task at hand and how to be diligent as we go through her lesson. I think it helps to instill a sense of responsibility and learning how to "get our work done" so that we will then have the pleasure of doing an activity of her choice.

#2 I realize that skipping days here and there within the program (LHFHG) causes an interruption in the flow of the program. I don't like having to pick up where we left off after we have not picked up our books for a day or two and then have to try and continually refresh our memories about what was recently learned. I want to begin a unit and work through it in a timely manner so that it all comes together as one big picture. I have learned my lesson about not following the guides as written and intended, and I am committed to adhering to the program as written this time around.

#3 This is my daughter's education! Ballet, tap, gymnastics, soccer, they are all great but they are secondary to her education. Her Christ-centered learning with HOD should be the top priority because really, everything else comes after her time (our time) studying the Lord and the related academics.

Like I said,today the school-time/scheduling/priority issue was on my mind (as well as last night), and coming here today and seeing your post just made me realize even more the importance of changing things around here so that our priorities are in order.

Just thinking...I have Danielle signed up for 3 different outside activities coming up in late March. I am going to go ahead and cancel at least one of those activities so that we can get on the right track!

Thanks Sharon for sharing your thoughts on this, it has blessed me and I hope that you and others will be too when evaluating school/outside activities.

Candice

[pollo_la]

I'm glad you posted this! We are also just about to start my dd's K year, and I am also becoming more aware of the need for a schedule. In the last few months I finally feel like I have settled somewhat into a grove with homeschooling. I can share what little wisdom I have with you at this point, but I am also looking to learn more on this too!

One thing that has helped me GREATLY lately is realizing that school doesn't have to happen all at once. This is what we are currently doing (which will change a bit once we start HOD, but the basic "flow" will likely stay the same):

While the kids have breakfast we do "Bible time." Basically I eat breakfast while I'm getting stuff ready for the kids. Then, when they sit down to eat they are a captive audience! I will likely do "History" from LHFHG at this time when we begin that. Right after breakfast my dd will usually do one or two worksheets of some sort. Something like dot to dot or a cutting pasting type thing. After about 5-10 minutes then she is off to play. So right there we have two "subjects" done for the day and it really only took about 15-20 minutes and basically happened during breakfast time.

Many times we go out in the morning to run errands or go to the YMCA, we then return home around lunch. After lunch sometimes my dd will do "schooly" type activity. Maybe just coloring or playdough, or it can be another worksheet or more structured craft type thing. Again this only takes 10-15 minutes and another "subject is completed. I am thinking that when we begin K I will likely do some sort of reading with her during lunch so that will add another subject.

Just before nap/quiet time we always read aloud a story together so this will likely be when we do out HOD story time when we start... another subject competed. Since my dd doesn't nap, but her sisters do I let her rest quietly and look at books for about 45 minutes and then while her sisters are still sleeping we do phonics together.

Just before bed we read another story.

SO... basically since with LHFHG things are only suppose to take about 10 minutes her "box" anyway, I think that we will be in good shape to start. Once I figured out that I didn't have to sit down and do it all at once I found that I could easily get it done, but just grabbing small moments here and there.

Also, as far as outside activities. Other then Church and AWANA I will never put my dd in more than 2 additional activities at a time. I TRY hard to only stick to one extra activity, but sometimes there is some overlap.

[my2guys]

Both my husband and I agree that some sort of schedule needs to be put into place so that Danielle realizes that there is a time for study and a time for other activities. I don't feel the need to have her sit for a long period of time focusing on school, but I do want her to have some frame of reference for knowing when and how to focus on the task at hand and how to be diligent as we go through her lesson. I think it helps to instill a sense of responsibility and learning how to "get our work done" so that we will then have the pleasure of doing an activity of her choice.

This was pretty much the exact topic of the conversation my husband and I had a few nights ago. At least we're all in this together.

[my2guys]

I TRY hard to only stick to one extra activity, but sometimes there is some overlap.

As I think more and more about it, this will probably be our goal too.


These are helping - keep 'em coming!

[netpea]

Well, we have a lot of activities. We have Wednesday night Family night at church and we go to a Thursday morning Community Bible Study. Those two activities get top priority on our schedule. My husband is adamant that they must take swim lessons and thankfully, I can schedule those on Thursday afternoons. So that leaves us 4 days a week for school. We also do a homeschool gymmastics class on Fridays which we consider to be our phys ed class. My daughter does dance and both kids do Upward sports programs which involve 1 night a week and an hour on Saturday. We only recently added the gymnastics at my husband's request. The kids enjoy it, but I don't really like having this many activities. We rarely do field trips with our homeschool group since they already do so much.

[deltagal]

This may not be every homeschoolers dilemna, but I think it ranks up there with the top three - which imho are laundry, clutter and food preparation. It has been my observation that some folks just like having a lot to do. They thrive on it, are energized by it and it motivates them to get things done. It can even be motivating for your children, if you have something they look forward to. However, there is also such a thing as too much. I often find myself thinking of a person carrying a load of laundry when I think about activities. A small load is quite manageable, one can maneuver steps, stop and address concerns, make minor adjustments along the way, but if one has a huge, over the top load that they can barely get their arms around and not even see over - BEWARE. Navigating steps will be precarious at best, no stopping and addressing concerns and questions here, no change of plans or disaster awaits. And when you actually make it to the machine with your load you often discover a trail of items that somehow slipped out of the pile. So, what does that mean? When you start to think about your schedule and your life and your routine and other commitments ....think of everything - church, playtime, trips to the library, co-ops, sports, clubs. It all adds up and your load can be over the top before you realize what you've done. In our family, we've found that we move a little more graciously and gracefully when we focus on home and that which renews us. Beyond that we worship as a family at our church on Sunday. Occasionally a child will take a class or play a sport, but not without a great deal of discernment and understanding that this commitment will impact our family in this way. And quite often the impact is very positive. However, my children's absolute favorite extra activity is playtime with friends. And the less we have scheduled elsewhere the greater the chance of being able to make that happen.

I'll be thinking about you and your family as you set priorities and make choices. But my "advice" if anything would be this - enjoy the time you have with your child(ren). It really does go quickly. Don't be afraid to recognize when your load is over the top and make adjustments, if needed. YOU (with God's help) are the one who holds the reins.

[my3sons]

Florence - what a great analogy! We can all relate to carrying around an overwhelming LARGE laundry load - and I agree that it's easy to start picking up more and more laundry, adding more and more to the pile, until you are snowed under and don't know quite how you got there.

I do think it is necessary to make school a top priority because for most people, it's only the top priorities that really do get done daily. HOD makes that easier to do because the programs are time conscious - so then it's really the leftover free time that needs to be considered carefully.

One thing that has helped me greatly when choosing what to do is this thought: saying YES to something means saying NO to something else. So, if I say yes to my dc playing baseball in the summer, I have to say no to them fishing with my dh / riding 3-wheelers with him each night. Or if I say yes to them joining a local archery club, I may have to say no to them shooting bows and arrows with my dh. Also, if I say yes to individual things for our dc to do, then I'm saying no to them having that time to be with each other and with us. Now, I'm not saying that all activities are bad, but it is important to realize that you are giving up something else to be able to do them. Sometimes it is worth it to give up these things - family time, time with siblings, time at home, time with dh - but other times it is not. It is a bigger decision then it seems in the moment!

In Christ,
Julie

[deltagal]

One thing that has helped me greatly when choosing what to do is this thought: saying YES to something means saying NO to something else. So, if I say yes to my dc playing baseball in the summer, I have to say no to them fishing with my dh / riding 3-wheelers with him each night. Or if I say yes to them joining a local archery club, I may have to say no to them shooting bows and arrows with my dh. Also, if I say yes to individual things for our dc to do, then I'm saying no to them having that time to be with each other and with us.

Well said, Julie. Many months ago, my children and I were having a discussion about their interests and desires and what it all came down to is they wanted more time with family and friends. They clearly understood that participation in many wonderful opportunities would have an impact on other treasured parts of their lives. And the good news is, "I heard what they were saying."

[MamaMary]

Sharon, I am loving all the feedback your getting. Every family is so different. I think having a schedule is a wonderful idea. Remember though that Kindergarten should not take more than one to one and half hours. Sometimes it only takes me a half hour. (Whew, doesn't that seem doable )

Basically, here at the Arnold's we either do school in the morning or the afternoon. I always shoot for the morning, but sometimes there are doctor appointments that I need to take whatever they have available, field trips, random things. I love what Steve Lambert shared YEARS ago. When I was a new homeschooler with lots of little ones, a topic like this came up and many moms jumped in with wonderful advice. He closed the thread out by encouraging us not to try to make our day look like a school day. Though if this worked for you it was great. But if you felt like you were having to say no to things you didn't want to say no to, then he would encourage us to think outside the box.

One of the most exciting PERKS of homeschooling is that we should be able to do those extra things they wouldn't get to do if they were in school. If there is a homeschool ballet class that you really want your child to take then TAKE IT and don't feel guilty. Just figure out how your going to meet your education/academic goal and think outside the box. Can you make it up (school) in the afternoon? Can you do just math/phonics/reading that day and make up HOD on Saturday? Can you double up your HOD the next day or the day before so you only have to do math/LA on ballet day.

Pray, pray, pray! Seek the Lord. This year has been especially tough for us. In eleven years we've only had one other that equaled this year in being thrown off coarse. With my dads cancer, my blood pressure issues and Seth's seizures I had to let go of my carefully laid plans. I fought it, fought it, fought it. Finally, I surrendered and found HIS perfect peace. This year we did 13 units HOD and lots of math, language arts, bible and LIFE SKILLS. My children learned so much about heaven as we talked about their paw paw's cancer. They learned how to flexible as they did their school while in the car. They learned about the power of praying as we sought the Lord in all these things.

Here are things I am doing that really help us stay on schedule:

1- Pray! Spend time in the word EVERY SINGLE DAY. (goal) Read His word relationally. Ask the Lord to show me when I am having conversations with myself (trying to figure out things) so I can change my audience and have that same conversation with HIM. He guides me to schedules, plans, idea's I would have never thought of.

2- Know my Goals..., Academic, Spiritual, Practical, etc..., (I set these twice a year (Jan and June) and I hold them loosely in case HE decides to change them)

3- Keep a close eye on my calendar and hesitate before saying yes or no.

I agree with Julie that there are somethings that I have to say "NO" to, when I say yes to something else. EXAMPLE: When we do co-op we do not do park day.

An idea the Lord gave me this year that I am absolutely LOVING!!!! Is that I do almost all of my dinners at "Let's Eat". I take my husband and all four boys and we put together 14 yummy dinners in about an hour that are fresh, whole foods and they go from freezer to oven. I blogged about it: http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/MamaMary/660542/ This has freed me up GREATLY! I love to grind my own grain and make my own bread products but felt too tired to be consistent prior to Let's Eat. Now I have time to invest in that.


Let me close by sharing w/ you the scriptures the Lord has given me over the years regarding homeschooling:

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal"...., Matthew 6:19-20

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing"....., John 15:5

"Do not conform to the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you by changing the way you THINK"....., Romans 12:2

Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. 16 For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. 17 And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever"......, 1 John 2:15-17

[my2guys]

Ladies, thanks so much for sharing your stories and advice. This has given me lots to "chew" on as I think through our priorities for the fall. I so appreciate you taking the time.

[my2guys]

Ask the Lord to show me when I am having conversations with myself (trying to figure out things) so I can change my audience and have that same conversation with HIM.

Mary - I have frequent conversations with myself and I have never heard anyone share this advice. I love when someone shows me a new way to look at something. Thank You!

[erdrmom]

This thread is sent from God for me to read today. We are about halfway through LHFHG for K this year and I am feeling very overwhelmed with all of the opportunities for activities. It has become very clear that I need to be more intentional in choosing what activities to participate in. There are so many options out there that are good, educational, physical, etc., but I have to continually remind myself that just because it is a "good" activity, doesn't mean it will bless my family. My first priority must be to God, then my family (husband then children) and then to everyone else. If my focus is not right, nothing runs smoothly.

As far as our school schedule goes, I have discovered that my dd works better later in the morning. We take the early morning and clean up from breakfast, make beds, etc., followed by running errands or a bit of playtime, and then do school around lunch time. She is more focused and the lessons are completed without much complaining. It is always my goal to do one unit a week, but that doesn't always happen. If I find that I am off of the 5 day schedule, we will take a day or two for extra reading, copywork and math practice, and then start with the next unit on the following Monday. We do some kind of "school" everyday, even if it's not from the manual and it is more of a life skill than bookwork.

Thank you for this thread and your thoughts, I needed this today!