How do I fix this???

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joyfulheart
Posts: 153
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:11 am
Location: Frisco, TX

How do I fix this???

Post by joyfulheart » Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:38 pm

First, this is about my son, and his abilities. His Learning Disabilities (dyslexia, dysgraphia, fine motor skills). He's smart, but some things just don't reach him.

And I'm frustrated. And feel like a failure.

He's come sooo far, but now we're stuck, and I dont know how to fix it.

He's currently doing Bigger (8 1/2 years old, 3rd grader). We've been doing it for a while, and he struggles so much. I've had to eliminate things-- poetry, timeline, and the scripture memorization. It was overwhelming him. Oh, and I had to eliminate cursive too. He just isn't ready for cursive, so instead we just practice his nname in cursive. Over and over and over-- and he still doesn't get it. :(

He's doing GREAT in history, science, art and he's doing so muh better on the reading, but he's barely able to add and subtract double digits and barely single digits. He cant keep up in math. I do the activities, they don't seem to reach him. He's very visual, right brained, but nothing seems to be working. And here in Texas, 3rd grade is when they're supposed to be learning multiplication. But that concept is totally out of reach (and hubby is really wanting him to be on track on multiplication too).

And the English/grammar/spelling/vocabulary... Oh, I just wanna scream today. His book keeps disappearing. Today, I announed that he was going to lose every toy in his room until it re-appears. Suddenly, he "found" the book mysteriously in the bathroom cabinet. Hmmm... wonder how it got there? But that's actually not the point-- he cries every day when it's time to do any english, writing, grammar. sentences, spelling, or vocab. He knows the work, but putting it on paper seems to be pure torture for him.

The fact is, I don't mind helping him, reading to him, etc... BUT he HAS to be able to do some of this, right???? He's CAPABLE of this. He's smart. Very smart. He has problems that make things difficult, but he's very smart.

And I'm refusing to allow attitudes, manipulation etc over this. I've sent him to his room when he decides to get an attitude. (the worse thing you can do. LOL)

So do I switch programs? Do I eliminate more? Do I just go run and hide in the closet???

Please don't bash me. I really love HOD. But I need to find a solution, and I'd appreciate any help ya'll can offer either with or without HOD.

Thanks

Lori_in_Austin
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:25 pm
Location: Austin, TX

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by Lori_in_Austin » Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:51 pm

Howdy Joyfulheart,

I do not have any advice, but my heart is heavy for you and I am going to pray for you and your family.

Oh, you are NOT a failure !

From another fellow Texan.

Love in Christ,
Lori in Austin, TX
wife to dh "Joe"
mom to two boys:
ds-5 - LHFHG using: The Reading Lesson, Explode the Code Phonics, Right Start Math.
ds-2.5 -
soon to start LHTH with Before FIAR

anointedhsmom
Posts: 200
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2008 4:04 pm
Location: Nashville, TN
Contact:

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by anointedhsmom » Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:59 pm

Oh joyfullheart,

No one here will bash you I promise. We have all had those days where we just want to go in the closet and cry and some of us have actually done it :shock:

I wish there was more I could say but I am about to go to bed because I am very sick and I feel like a mac truck ran over me :roll: My son is 9.5 doing Bigger and he has some problems so don't beat yourself up over your son. If most of the program is giving him such a hard time you might consider going back to Beyond. It might be just the thing to get him ready for Bigger. Remember that Bigger is recommend for ages 7 to 9 to it wouldn't be a problem at all doing Bigger next year. If you haven't already be sure to check out the place your child chart here http://www.heartofdakota.com/placing-your-child.php

I'll let some of the others and Carrie I'm sure weigh in with their thoughts too. I'm so sick right now I can hardly think straight.

HTH,
Paige
Blessings,
Paige in TN
Joshua 14 & Jacob 7
http://www.anointedhsmom.blogspot.com

Marty D
Posts: 68
Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:58 pm

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by Marty D » Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:18 pm

Joyful Heart,

I am not sure that I am going to be much help, but I will tell you what I have done. My 8 1/2 year old has some similar issues. Some days I want to run and hide in closet also....Sometimes I do go hide in the closet in fact! My son has difficulty with writing anything down. He, of course, has to do some writing, but I do keep it to a minimum. We do a lot of work orally. I also use different methods besides just a pencil and paper. We do chalk boards, white boards, colored pencils, crayons, makers, or anything else that is different. I learned last year that if I tell him, "This is the work we have to do today, what do you want to do first?" he feels like he has some control, and sometimes that helps. I am not sure what to tell you on math, cause my son can do math easily. I did mastering mathematics with him last year, switched to something else this year, and have switched back since then. I love the way Mastering Mathematics is set up. They truly master each level area before going on. And, I would say too, that some kids are going to get it earlier than others, and there is nothing wrong with that. I am not sure if you have tried this, but I have seen musical tapes going over addition/subtraction facts through song. The Old Schoolhouse store also sales a lot of math helps. It might be worth looking into.

I am not on the same program as you. We went with Beyond instead, and he is enjoying it, for the most part. I do not push the Scripture memorization right now. We work on the verse, and I have him say it after me, but my goal with that is for him to understand what the verse is saying. I want him to memorize God's word, but more than knowing it, I want him to live it. So, I have not pushed it right now....because it would overwhelm him.

I also have not started cursive with my son. He has not mastered print. It is so difficult for him, and so we are just practicing. When we do start cursive, it is going to be a simple cursive...nothing loopy. Handwriting without tears I know has a simple cursive.

I have had to really play with Nathanael's curriculum to get it where it is. Often changing several times in the year. We still struggle...daily. I have come on this board, much like you, and laid my heart out, and I have worried about failing. All we can do is do the best we can with what God has given us, and let God do the rest. We pray hard, and leave the rest to Him.

I have not helped much, and this probably sounds like a jumble of thoughts. Hope it makes a little sense.

"Casting all your care upon Him for he careth for you."
Martha

Mom to 3 boys --Nathanael 8, Daniel 5, and Karsten 2

joyfulheart
Posts: 153
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:11 am
Location: Frisco, TX

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by joyfulheart » Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:28 pm

We had beyond for his younger brother, and he enjoyed it, but Bigger is a better match for 99% of it

And thank you, I appreciate the support. I'm trying to find a better math, or a supplemental math, or something to ehlp him in math. The english/grammar is workable, we can adjust and or just push through that part. He's just gonna have to learn to stop hiding it. LOL Or maybe I should find a different english? I seem to be doubting myself alot today. LOL

I'm not wondering if the grass is greener, I just want to find what works!


Is there somehting different out there that's not expensive?

I can't afford time4learnign or other programs (hubby found out last week he will be laid off!)

Thanks!
Last edited by joyfulheart on Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ncmomof5
Posts: 211
Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:02 pm

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by ncmomof5 » Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:32 pm

It doesn't sound like HOD is the problem. It looks like math and english are where he is struggling. Since those are left up to us to choose, couldn't you just keep doing the science, history and art from HOD and look at changing or slowing down these other two subjects? Just a thought.
I wouldn't worry about the writing, poetry or timeline. Could you include the Scripture memory, just not push for memorization? I have a 7 yo ds who is doing Beyond, and he is struggling with the opposite subjects as your son. But he gets overwhelmed when I introduce the new verse(s) each week. I don't push it. We just do the activities, go over the verse and let it go at that. We just started reviewing some of those verses this week, and I was pleased with how much he did remember.
I truly feel your pain. I have been racking my brain this week trying to figure out why my son doesn't seem to be able to retain the info that I read to him. He is already an "old" first grader, and I would like to see him really flying. But, pushing him will never accomplish that. I don't know your son's personality, but if I gave my son the idea that "You are here, but I really expect you to be here even though you're not", I think he would just shut down. I watched a friend of mine do that with her son, (mostly because her husband insisted she keep him on grade level), and it has not been a good thing for him or his parents.
Also, please remember, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! "Let us not grow weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap if we faint not." (this was our review memory verse today :)). You will get through this, and the light will come on. How soon it happens and how difficult it is, is something we cannot know. Pray and seek God for wisdom. Ask Him if there is something else you should be doing with him, or if you should just gently press on, not expecting results, not demanding X amount of progress. Be faithful to do your part, expecting your son to do his, and let the outcome fall into God's hands. I know that sounds nice, but I am preaching to myself at the same time. :)
I will pray for you tomorrow as you start a new day that God will give you grace to see this through and trust Him to show you the way.
Sorry this is so long.
In His love,
RuthAnn
2013 - 2014
15 yo dd -- MTMM
13 yo ds -- MTMM
12 yo ds -- finish PHFHG/CTC
9 yo ds -- finish BLHFHG/BHFHG
5.5 yo dd -- LHFHG

"Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."
Matthew 6:32

water2wine
Posts: 2743
Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:24 pm
Location: GA

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by water2wine » Tue Oct 21, 2008 9:58 pm

joyfulheart,

I am reading your post as a mom who also has a special needs child who struggles with major attitude problems from time to time and sometimes all the time, hahaha! So please do not think you are alone or we think you are bad because you are frustrated with your child. My dd and I just got through out session and hopefully are on the other side until we are here again, which I know we will be. :lol: Teaching special needs kids, especially your kid, is very hard. It is frustrating and they get attitude problems. But you know we would not give it up and there are parts we love too and I know the same is true for you too. :D

Ok having said all that my gut reaction to your post is Bigger may be too much and what you need is Beyond. That is my just gut reaction because it is not just attitude it is that they can't do a lot of it and that is telling me you are too advanced. Please understand I am all for pushing them to the most you can, I do it with my dd because you have to that is how you get over the humps. But it is sounding to me that you are too advanced for him with Bigger. And I am wondering if stepping back to Beyond might not be a good idea and work on the math a bit and any LA areas he needs help in. Just to give him a place he can feel like he can win but still learn. OR else I think you maybe could just do the History, Bible, Science and Art he is getting and customize the rest at his level. Don't fret over cursive. It is hard for all of them. But I will say something to consider there is Itallic, everyone says HWT but Itallic has been wonderful for my dd. But in all honesty I do not think cursive is a huge deal at this age and it is fine to wait on that. Math can be on his level if Singapore is too hard try something mastery like R&S. I BTW customize Bigger for my dd with special needs who has Math and LA issues. So either way but just cut back on the expectation that you will use it exactly as is. It is fine to customize to your child's level. With my dd I try to focus on the three R's and all the other stuff is gravy. We do it all but my main concern is that she can read and do math, next would be Bible then History and Science because that is how I think ultimately it will rank for her in life. I push hard and sometimes when she gives up I have to be the thing she get's mad at until I get her heart back into it and then we are fine again. It is a cycle and there are times I want to pull my hair out along the way. But I'm not giving up and I won't let her either.

Please though do not think you are a failure. You are doing the best thing for your child with his learning issues which is to homeschool and it can be very taxing when they have learning issues. You are not failing. The only way you can fail is if you give up. That is the only way and only you can even say if that is failure. I think you will do the best you can and do what is right for your child. It will be hard and you may need to scream every once in a while but I don't think you will give up either because it is worth it. This is just a little regrouping time and you will get a new game plan dust yourself off and go for another round. Pray for God to show you how He wants you to teach your child. Pray for Him to show you the focus and what he needs right now in your life and pray that He will show you the road blocks in your child's heart and how to get around them. This is one I have found God always honors.

A week ago I wanted to pull my hair out over some of the things my dd was doing. I regrouped, I got her heart back (it was not easy but I did it) and we are on track again. It's a phase and a time to make some adjustments. You just need to see what needs to be changed whether it is habits or levels on things. Take a day or two off if you need it just to get some focus. We need that sometimes and it is OK.

Hang in there I am not sure if there is anything that helps but I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone and I know you can do it. You are not a failure you are just a normal mom with a child that has learning issues and it is tough sometimes. It is for all of us like you and some that do not even have learning issues. So definitely you are not alone. :D
All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children. Isaiah 54:13
~Six lovies from God~4 by blessing of adoption
-MTMM (HS), Rev to Rev, CTC, DITHR
We LOVED LHFHG/Beyond/Bigger/Preparing/CTC/RTR/Rev to Rev (HS)

mamas4bugs

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by mamas4bugs » Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:41 am

We don't have closets here in the UK, but I sure used to hide in my big walk in closet in Texas--right there in with all the shoes! I'm so not kidding. My now 10 year old has issues very similar to yours and Marty D's. I second her post wholeheartedly! I just want to encourage you that it does get better. Not perfect, by any stretch, but better. :P My son is extremely bright, but he flat out is not capable of all the written work involved. This is the first year that we have not done the bulk of LA orally. We also use white boards, colored pencils, sidewalk chalk (not kidding---he used to do his spelling words in chalk on the back patio), writing with his finger on the desk until he got the concept and then putting it on paper. Handwriting Without Tears was an absolute Godsend. He finally mastered print last year, and we have started cursive this year. It's going well.

We didn't start multiplication until last year (4th grade). Math U See worked well for him (Singapore was a nightmare for this particular child--I know lots of people who love it though). We are having trouble getting MUS over here, though, so we are doing Bob Jones math this year, and it's actually going well.

This may sound a little nuts, but does he respond to touch? When my son is having a particularly bad moment, sometimes I can soothe him and continue with the assignment if I rub his back, or put one arm around him or pull him into my lap--which is really getting difficult since he is only about 6 inches shorter and 50 lbs lighter than me at this point! :shock:

I want to encourage you not to feel bad adjusting for him. If he were in public school, they would be required to make modifications. I understand the frustration of knowing they are bright enough to do it, but because my brain doesn't process things the way his does, there are times when I just can't seem to get through. And I know he's capable. My hope is to teach him to love to learn, and to help him develop the coping skills so that he can eventually figure out for himself how to modify situations so that he can learn.

Hang in there. You are in no way a failure. Hey, maybe we should start a "hiding in the closet" support group. Wait, I don't have closets anymore. Wonder if I could fit in my wardrobe..... :P

"I know whom I have believed and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day." 2 Timothy 1:12

wdworkman
Posts: 75
Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:46 pm
Location: Illinois
Contact:

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by wdworkman » Wed Oct 22, 2008 9:29 am

I have a 10 yos with a lot of the same problems. At your sons age, he had every symptom listed on the dyslexic & dysgraphic check list. I've continued to work with him SLOWLY on his reading & the dyslexic symptoms have definitely improved. The writing we're still working on.

He sounds a lot like your son - knows his English/Grammar, but writing it down would be an all day job; at 10, he's getting his multiplication facts down & understands any math concept I teach him, but again doing the written work is a BIG chore. At places like Sunday School or Cub Scouts, where his work is mostly in the form of discussions, they're always commenting on how smart he is. Here's what's worked for us this year (next year who knows?):

For English (R&S) we do a lot of the work orally. If he has to write out sentences with correct punctuation, filling in a word, etc., I type the sentences out on paper & let him write in the corrections, fill in the blank, or whatever the exercise is about. He does write out the sentence diagrams. I limit his cursive writing to one subject a day. In Preparing, it's usually either his scripture verse or his History copy work.

We're using MCP 5th grade math this year. He practices his facts once on the computer, once with flashcards, then we go over his lesson and do the first few problems together - him telling me what to write. Once I know he understands the concept, I assign him about about 5 problems to do on his own. If he gets all 5 right, he's done. If he gets one wrong, he does another one; if he gets two wrong, he does two more, etc. For the last two years, we've been doing written multiplication drills with no progress. This year, he's picking them up pretty easily with computer & oral drills. I'm realizing (finally) that with the dysgraphia, writing math facts or spelling words doesn't help him learn the material at all!

We just started Brain Integration Therapy Manual this week, so I can't tell you if it's going to be successful yet. It's about 20 or 30 minutes of writing & physical exercises that we do before we start the school day. We all do them together to music, so it's a fun thing.

I don't know if any of these suggestion will work for someone else, but I just wanted you to know there are others.

Marty D
Posts: 68
Joined: Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:58 pm

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by Marty D » Wed Oct 22, 2008 10:33 am

momas4bugs,

Wow, i just read your post, and I am wondering if we have the same child! LOL. I am reminded of the verse that talks about how there is nothing new under the sun. It is nice to know how other people handle these problems. I second the touch idea. For my son, it is not so much my touch as touching something himself (mainly my hair, which drives me nuts). Maybe one day we could rent a BIG closet, and we all could meet in there and discuss our children! LOL That sounds like fun! :D
Martha

Mom to 3 boys --Nathanael 8, Daniel 5, and Karsten 2

mamas4bugs

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by mamas4bugs » Wed Oct 22, 2008 11:27 am

Marty D wrote:momas4bugs,

Wow, i just read your post, and I am wondering if we have the same child! LOL. I am reminded of the verse that talks about how there is nothing new under the sun. It is nice to know how other people handle these problems. I second the touch idea. For my son, it is not so much my touch as touching something himself (mainly my hair, which drives me nuts). Maybe one day we could rent a BIG closet, and we all could meet in there and discuss our children! LOL That sounds like fun! :D

Yes! My Caleb rubs his face on me like a 90 pound cat. :P Gosh, wouldn't life be boring without these little guys. I loved your comment on another thread about how with kids with letters by their names you never knew what was going to happen. Never a dull moment, no kidding. :) I love your big closet idea--I'll bring the chocolate!

moedertje
Posts: 761
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:31 pm
Location: Sarasota, Fl

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by moedertje » Wed Oct 22, 2008 1:23 pm

Hello Joyful Heart,

My heart goes out to you as you find yourself struggling with your sons schooling. The Lord knows your son and has picked him out to be under your care, because He knew that He could grow both of you to become closer to Him if you were together and following His principals.

I do not speak from experience with the same issue, but we all face difficult times as moms whether in teaching school, disciplining or whatever the case maybe. I have a very active, impulsive children and this sometimes brings discouragement when I look around and see other calm children the same age.

Just remember that you are not a failure and your son is not a failure nor is he failing you. All God requires of you is to lovingly present the work to your son and he will learn what he needs to learn. It is very important that he does not get compared with any other child. God has given you this unique child that will soar in his abilities as you seek God were you are to lead him.

The word of God says: Prov. 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go", not the way all the other children go. It is for you to go into your closet you are right and hide away, but with the word of God and to seek Him and wait upon Him to tell you what to eliminate and I don't think God will tell you to eliminate His word for memorization. It is perhaps the single most important thing we can teach our children. Psalm 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.. The word of God will equip both of you as you go through the struggles and God will sustain you as you surrender yourself, your son and his learning totally to Him.

You mentioned that he does not get the math, but you did not mention what math you are using. There are more hands on methods and ones that go slower, perhaps Math-U-See could work for him. I have read reviews that say it works for all learning styles.
Perhaps he needs a more relaxed approach like you said and incredible amounts of praise and most important to know that you are his #1 cheerleader.

Of course in saying all this you have to submit to your husbands request and at least offer the subjects that he requires, but you must also let you husband know that you need his prayers and his help on how to reach your sons learning abilities and interests better, maybe the Lord will give your husband some parts of the puzzle.

My prayer for you is that the Lord Himself will give you and your family guidance and that He will show you the best way to teach your son with peace in your heart that he will be alright. That it is a tremendous blessing that you are willing to sacrifice and homeschool, because it is one of the most blessed things a mother can do. "Do not grow weary in doing good"!

The Lord has equipped you and your husband to be the best teachers for your son.



Blessings
Raising Arrows; Psalms 127:4
ds17, Class of 2020, now at IHOPU
ds 15, WH
dd 13, MTMM
In year 1 of homeschooling it all started with LHTH for us.

Ruth in FL
Posts: 32
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:48 am
Location: Sunny FL

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by Ruth in FL » Wed Oct 22, 2008 8:43 pm

Hello Joyful Heart,
I know just how you feel,but I want to encourage you that things DO get better.
My 14yodd is dyslexic and has dysgraphia. I often wondered if she would ever learn to read, write or spell.
Things DO come slowly and LOTS of patience is needed! But fear not, children like ours do learn and want to learn!
One of the reasons I bought BIGGER was so my 14 yo could do the extension pack and read alongs for history. HOD is very adaptable for kids with LD's because one way they learn well is being read to and/or doing hands on things. BTW, she loved all those books and has read almost all of them!

I dont think you mentioned how old your son is, but here are some of the ways I have helped my daughter in school :
English lessons are done orally if the lesson is too hard for her to write.
I found the "Jump In" writing course very well suited to reluctant writers. It is for middleschoolers.
Formal spelling was not started until she turned about 12. It was just too much.Once she learned to read well, spelling came easier,and the word rules made more sense to her because she could finally "see" the word in her head. Right now I am using "Apples" with her and she is doing very well.
Math is still very difficult for her. She is only doing 6th grade math but I dont care..she is working at HER level and that is the beauty of homeschooling.
Doing math problems on graph paper helps her line it all up. Even if we only do four problems a day, if she gets it, I am happy and so is she.
Times tables were learned while jumping rope and I do let her have a cheat sheet with the facts on it just in case she really cant remember.

Handwriting without Tears worked well with her, but again, very slowly!

The Charlotte Mason way of teaching has been best for her. She does her Science and History by reading great books, with a lab thrown in.
We do Math and language Arts in a workbook, but leave room for oral lessons too. Oh, she does Spanish on the computer .
Books on tapes are great and so are Diana Waring tapes about World History,Focus on the Family stories...stuff like that. You can ask the child to narrate back when they learned or what the book was about with the stress of a written book report!

I do not tolerate bad behavior either due to her issues and I do not make excuses for her. I do not let her manipulate me into less work because she says the lesson is too hard...I call the shots, but I try my hardest to present them in a way that will benefit her and that they are understandable. I used to be so hard on her, thinking she was just being lazy. I feel so bad about those days but, I was trying to do school with her like everyone else was, or even like I did it with my two older boys!As soon as I realized that I did not have to do school the traditional way, she began to thrive!

Please, dont compare yourself or you child to anyone else. Be patient..I know how hard it can be,but that is the beauty of homeschooling...they can learn at their level and pace! I am so proud that she can do some highschool work!! We dont cry over every lesson anymore! Honestly, there were days when the two of us would be crying...she would cry because she felt so stupid and I would cry because I felt I was a failure and failing her!! IT was a pathetic sight! We still have our crying days, but they are very few now. So, please dont give up! If you wish to email me privately, you are welcome to do so!!
I will be praying for you Joyful Heart!
Ruth
married 20 yrs to Mark, mom to three daughters 25,14,10
two sons 19 and 17, Nana to two boys 6 and 3.
Proud mother in law of a US Army Soldier.

my3sons
Posts: 10604
Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:08 pm
Location: South Dakota

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by my3sons » Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:31 pm

First of all, no bashing here, my dear! :D Goodness, we are all just moms doing our very best, and I think you should give yourself a big pat on the back because your ds does enjoy his history, science, art, and is coming along with his reading. :D I have skimmed much of the responses here, but I wanted to quick post here on my lunch break. :D Ruthann's post caught my eye, and I wanted to stem off of that:
ncmomof5 wrote:... It looks like math and english are where he is struggling. Since those are left up to us to choose, couldn't you just keep doing the science, history and art from HOD and look at changing or slowing down these other two subjects? Just a thought.
You can do R & S completely orally, with you writing part of it on any of the great ideas other pp's had here (my favorite is the markerboard and dry erase markers). Then over time, start having him write 1 of each section's problems on markerboard or paper, or whatever he chooses from options you give him. Eventually, he can take over writing a portion of each section. My ds loves to write, and I still only have him write a small portion of each of the grammar lessons.

For cursive, why not wait a year? Many people do. When he is ready, it will go much more smoothly. He is on the young side of Bigger..., so potentially other dc doing that program could be up to 10 yo. (or older with extensions).

For math, what level is he doing? If you haven't had him do the Singapore placement test, that link is here:
http://www.singaporemath.com/
Just click "placement" at the top. It doesn't take long and is very accurate. If he places in 1A/1B, if funds permit, you could get the Beyond... guide and do those activities. If he places where he's at, maybe do most of the writing for him and have him do the figuring. You can "dot" the answers and have him trace them too. Math can be done with you doing most of the writing and him just doing a few problems, then gradually taking over more over time - or even next year.

For copywork, I'd still read it and enjoy it. Maybe just photocopy it for him. He can draw pics on it if he wants. Otherwise, since copywork is optional, and writing is not his thing, just let him enjoy the poetry as you read it and discuss.

Same with timeline. I'd still fill in the timeline for him, and let him enjoy seeing it grow. Even though he's not doing the writing, he'll be able to see it grow and enjoy it that way, having a mental picture of it in his mind, which will help him learn it visually.

For vocabulary, just do 1 card. Help him find it in the book, have him orally guess it's meaning after you read it in context, then get him to the page it is on in your dictionary and have him find it on that page. You can then read the definitions and have him choose one for you to write. Then, have him orally dictate a sentence to you using that word and suggest a small picture for you to draw. Perhaps have him color it - or not, if that's bothersome to him. He'll still be learning how to guess what a word means from context clues, how to look it up in a dictionary, how to use it in a sentence, and how to choose a picture to visually show its meaning. He'll still actually be doing everything he needs to skillwise.

I would photocopy, write it yourself, or omit the writing of anything else you're doing battle over writing-wise. Still do the activity or the notebooking, but downplay the writing part. He'll still be learning and taking much from it. The writing will come, but for now, the biggest issue is to get him to enjoy those parts of the plans and still learn from them without requiring much as far as writing goes.

These are just ideas - hope some of them help! Time is on your side - you really don't need to complete Bigger... for awhile because he's on the young side of it anyway. HTH! :)

In Christ,
Julie
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USII, MTMM
Wife to Rich for 25 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 20, 17, and 13
Author of Women's Devotional https://www.ebay.com/itm/293355757184
Blogger https://my3sons-julie.blogspot.com/
Sister to Carrie

Mandy in TN
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:42 am

Re: How do I fix this???

Post by Mandy in TN » Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:43 pm

joyfulheart wrote:First, this is about my son, and his abilities. His Learning Disabilities (dyslexia, dysgraphia, fine motor skills). He's smart, but some things just don't reach him.
My oldest ds now 17yo has these same issues.
joyfulheart wrote:And I'm frustrated. And feel like a failure.

He's come sooo far, but now we're stuck, and I dont know how to fix it.
You are not a failure and your child does not need to be fixed. God gave you a gift and he didn't give you a broken one. However, I understand the frustration at what you perceive as your inability to move him forward at a rate equal to that of his age level peers in a traditional classroom.
joyfulheart wrote:He's currently doing Bigger (8 1/2 years old, 3rd grader). We've been doing it for a while, and he struggles so much. I've had to eliminate things-- poetry, timeline, and the scripture memorization. It was overwhelming him. Oh, and I had to eliminate cursive too. He just isn't ready for cursive, so instead we just practice his nname in cursive. Over and over and over-- and he still doesn't get it. :(
Stop with the cursive signature. If he isn't ready for cursive, then he isn't ready to write his name in cursive. I second the already recommended Handwriting without Tears. Also, you may want to have him work with a hole punch, big-arm his writing, or "write" with 2 fingers on sand paper or a rough board (like the back of an old wooden puzzle). Also, place a strip of tape on the left side of his writing surface so that he knows to begin on that side.
joyfulheart wrote:He's doing GREAT in history, science, art and he's doing so muh better on the reading, but he's barely able to add and subtract double digits and barely single digits. He cant keep up in math. I do the activities, they don't seem to reach him. He's very visual, right brained, but nothing seems to be working. And here in Texas, 3rd grade is when they're supposed to be learning multiplication. But that concept is totally out of reach (and hubby is really wanting him to be on track on multiplication too).
Kumon, kumon, kumon. If you can't afford the center, get the workbooks. They now have workbooks that go through 6th grade. The simple addition and addition are almost always readily available at Barnes and Noble. Meet him where he is. Do not expect him to do multiple digit addition or multiplication if he has not mastered his addition facts. This is setting him up for failure. Tape the basic facts up on the kitchen cabinets, the bathroom wall across from the toilet, on the wall beside his bed, or anywhere he is likely to see them.
joyfulheart wrote:And the English/grammar/spelling/vocabulary... Oh, I just wanna scream today. His book keeps disappearing. Today, I announed that he was going to lose every toy in his room until it re-appears. Suddenly, he "found" the book mysteriously in the bathroom cabinet. Hmmm... wonder how it got there? But that's actually not the point-- he cries every day when it's time to do any english, writing, grammar. sentences, spelling, or vocab. He knows the work, but putting it on paper seems to be pure torture for him).

The fact is, I don't mind helping him, reading to him, etc... BUT he HAS to be able to do some of this, right???? He's CAPABLE of this. He's smart. Very smart. He has problems that make things difficult, but he's very smart.

And I'm refusing to allow attitudes, manipulation etc over this. I've sent him to his room when he decides to get an attitude. (the worse thing you can do. LOL).
LOL You have to admire his initiative- trying to fix what he sees as the problem. Good job, mom. Read to him his history and science. How fortunate he is to have a personal tutor that is going to continue to see that he learns despite any differences he may have. Good job, mom. How fortunate he is to have a personal tutor that doesn't allow him to manipulate his way into ignorance. Keep up the good work!
joyfulheart wrote:So do I switch programs? Do I eliminate more? Do I just go run and hide in the closet???


Although you are frustrated, it sounds like you have everything is under control. You are frustrated because he has yet to memorize his addition facts. Stop his math program and do some Kumon until he has them and then pick back in the math where he last had mastery. As far as LA you say that he is capable, so I would just keep moving. I would eliminate any unnecessary writing for example R&S grammar and vocabulary can be done orally. Riggs LA and AVKO Sequential Spelling helped at our house, but some of that may have been timing. My ds was in 3rd grade when he used Riggs and 6th (I think) when he used Sequential Spelling.

Keep at it and try to stay positive. :D

HTH-
Mandy

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