How to encourage a boy to slow down, think, and be careful..

[farmfamily]

..without a lot of negativity?

I am especially troubled by my son's copywork and written narrations (he is in Unit 34 of Preparing so almost done).
In his copywork I see:
-numerous spelling mistakes
-sloppy handwriting (I know he can do better)
-occasional skipped words or even phrases
In his narrations I see all of the above plus he often writes his own thoughts or ideas that simply weren't in the book. Also, his thoughts are randomly thrown together, and some of his sentences don't even make sense.

In his oral narrations, he sometimes skips essential details as well. For example, he recently narrated that "Somebody in England noticed that steam made the kettle lid flap, so he put it in a train." With questions I was able to figure out that he knew that someone had made a steam engine and that this was used to power the train, but he just skipped over all that in his narration.

This problem shows up in other subjects too. In reading aloud he skips words or substitutes the wrong word. But if you tell him he can stop reading aloud if he reads the next page perfectly, he slows down a little and can do it just fine. In math and grammar he makes mistakes from not reading the directions carefully enough (even though he loves math and is very good at it). Some of his notebooking looks like it was done by a child half his age. (Other notebooking looks great - if he got inspired by the assignment for some reason). In studied dictation, he just glances at the passage before he wants me to read it to him. I am actually impressed by the number he gets right with this method, but he still misses way more than he could. I believe that he is a natural speller like my oldest, and she almost never misses a dictation because she actually studies them. He doesn't seem to care if he misses a dictation (my oldest used to cry if she missed one at his age - so I can't say I mind this too much!)

So how do you handle problems like this? Both my girls are perfectionists (like myself!), and the harder task with them has always been getting them to move along through their subjects so that school doesn't take all day. I like that my son gets on with it and finishes things quickly, but I am SO not used to this kind of sloppy work, and to be honest it is hard for me not to get annoyed with him when this kind of thing shows up over and over. Especially in copywork. I just don't have time to nitpick every copywork assignment. And written narrations are becoming a battleground because I usually make him re-write parts of it. Help!

[StephanieU]

My kids can be like that. I have had a talk with my oldest, and if it isn't the quality we agreed to, she has to fix it/start over. She is learning that it is best to do it right the first time, as having to fix or redo things actually takes longer.
To show her what I expected, I got our some of her better work as an example of what is acceptable. That way I was only comparing her to herself, not others. Spelling/grammar mistakes I circle and she fixes (only if they are words/rules she should know).
For narration, it is okay for them to add in extra things, as long as it is on topic of course. They are making connections. Narrations aren't necessarily summaries, so they don't have to include everything. But it should be the length in the guide and answer any prompt given.

[jellybeanmum]

Less is more.

It sounds backwards, but I found for my kids that with dictation less is really more. The idea is to get the best out of them, & it's better to have 3 words spelled correctly & written beautifully than a huge long passage done up poorly. I can't remember the exact CM quote about that, but it's out there somewhere & they were words I needed to hear many moons ago.

My HOD boy has always done levels much lower than might be expected because to me it's more important that what is done is done well, if that makes sense. If we have longer passages I may break them up over more than one day, taking note of what's going on with him as he's working in order to say, "Excellent, I'd like you to stop for now & we'll finish tomorrow."

I know in our home the hurrying can happen because one can feel that there is much to do, & the quicker they get through things the sooner they are done. Where as smaller chunks of work feel more manageable, even if it means you revisit something more than once in a day or break it up over more days. I also find that if we start out with less & gradually build up it helps too.

[my3sons]

I am working on this with my son in Creation to Christ right now! What works the best is using the Written Narration Skills Student's List first, and then my more detailed Written Narration Skills: Teacher's List next. So, before even listening/helping edit his written narrations, I have him work on 1-3. If I come to listen to him read his written narration, and he hasn't done 1-3, then I walk away, giving him a few minutes to fix those errors. For #4 on the list, which is in regard to spelling, I've now moved him past the 'helps' of Options 2, 3, and 4 (which involve more of my help fixing things) to Option 1 (which moves the responsibility of editing more toward him; as it involves looking in the book for help). I will still underline the misspelled words. Or, I will jot words not in his book on a markerboard for him to copy. But, it helps for him to see the progression that is expected when it comes to editing. It also helps to have him read aloud his written work to me, with pencil in his hand. He fixes things he notices as he reads before I look at it to help. He is catching more and more things on his own. Just today, I had him look back at his first month of school's work, and how hard he tried to write neatly, and compare it to last week's work, which was not as neat. I let him know improvement in writing was the expectation, so if his DITHOR Student Book writing had not improved or was at least of the same quality at the start of the year, I'd be having him erase it all and begin again. I also wrote the first sentence for him, and told him I wanted it that size, with that level of neatness. He did just fine today! In fact, it was quite lovely! As far as dictation, it must be 100% correct according to Charlotte Mason, or the passage must be redone the next day. I made a goal for my son to finish 1 level this year, and if he doesn't complete it, I let him know he would be doing it in the summer. He has not missed many since this little visit we had! I did not need to do this with either of my older sons - they were much like your daughters - perfectionists who would tear up if they missed a dictation passage! As far as neat work, well, I understand that battle as well. I don't expect perfection, but I do expect his work to look like I think an average 5th grader's work should look. It is a constant balance - expecting enough but not going overboard ourselves and expecting perfection! However, when it comes to writing,I have made a personal goal with each of my sons to be sure it is edited to at least include proper spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. As Charlotte Mason said, the mind is like a camera - fix the mistakes right away, and they are less likely to be repeated. That consistency on our part as moms eventually pays off and results with careful students - they do eventually realize it is more beneficial to get it right the first time! Oral narrations - well, that's another story. More leeway there!!! I set one goal for them to work on - i.e. for your son, maybe sharing specific names/events rather than more general words could be something to work on. I hope something here helps, but keep up the good work as a mom by being diligent in your expectations - while also being encouraging by noting any progress made!!!

In Christ,
Julie

[farmfamily]

Wow! Thank you for your thoughtful replies! Julie, I hadn't looked at that written narration list for a LONG time, and I had forgotten how much helpful advice is on there for spelling. I will start using more of those options for spelling. I see there is nothing on there really about how much "sense" the narration makes. Sometimes my son just skips huge things or phrases things in a strange almost nonsensical way. Sometimes I can make out what he means, but other times I can't unless he explains it to me. Should I not worry about that? He gets really frustrated if I make him re-write entire sentences, but I often do.

I am going to follow your advice of talking to him about neatness, and also about doing dictation during vacation if he misses too many from not studying them and so can't complete a level. I KNOW he can do better than he does.

I am a stickler for spelling/grammar, and so we always check and correct mistakes. He hates it, though!

jellybeanmum, I like your suggestion of "less is more" - I have decided that as we start CTC in a week, I will have him go half speed and expect a higher quality of work. We will see how it goes.

Thank you all again for your suggestions. I like the idea of pointing out to him some examples of his better work and holding him to that higher standard - or if he doesn't, making him redo the assignment. What really drives me nuts is his large amounts of spelling mistakes and skipped words in copywork. Maybe while we are going half speed, if he makes more than 2 mistakes in his copywork I will have him redo the entire passage.
Thanks!