Just venting

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SarahBrant
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2016 1:34 pm

Just venting

Post by SarahBrant » Tue Apr 04, 2017 1:41 pm

Hi friends, I could use prayer today. My 9 yo son has aspergers. We have been doing speech therapy at the public school for 2 years. We have considered going private but my son's articulation regressed with a new ST, so we need to stay with our ST at the school. We have to do indepth testing this time around. Speech and language testing as well as academic and IQ testing. The school psychologist is a bit hostile toward homeschooling. Today my son had the academic portion of the testing done. He is a 3rd grader in Bigger. We have always taken the approach that we will slow down to work on a skill rather than try to "keep up" exactly with his peer group academically. He is in Singapore 2A for math and we won't be finished with Bigger till the end of summer due to having a new baby. My son is good at math and is good at thinking mathematically. Anyway, after the testing was over the psychologist came into the office and said fairly loudly "Your son worked very hard for me today, but his scores are coming out a little bit low, especially in math, and we're not even halfway done with the testing for that." I sort of expected this being as we only just started multiplication and have only gotten to multiplying by 2s and 3s, and have barely begun division as well. However, where we are at in the book, he is good at and he grasps new math concepts quickly. He is also slow at hand writing which doesn't bother me any. He can take all the time he needs. In this IEP meeting we had, the psychologist and principal expressed concerns over my decision to homeschool eve. Though they had never met my child. From the psychologist's body language today I had the impression that he is not thrilled with me. I'm just needing encouragement. Are we behind in using Bigger for 3rd? They were touching on things that we haven't done yet. As I said, we won't be finished until end of summer. They were giving him paragraphs and having him add all the punctuation and wrote it all out. We've never done that. I need prayer and encouragement to know that I am not failing him. They are pressing me to put him in public and I have no plans to do so, but I love our speech therapist.

sarah_smile81
Posts: 10
Joined: Sat Sep 10, 2016 7:36 pm

Re: Just venting

Post by sarah_smile81 » Wed Apr 05, 2017 6:16 am

Hi Sarah ~

It sounds like you are doing a great job with your son, letting him master the areas that you are working on and going at his pace!

I would not worry about what his test scores are on the tests that they are giving him. They are testing based on the material that the public school is teaching to test for (if that makes sense! :wink: ); whereas, if they were testing based on what you are teaching him at home, it sounds like he would do great!

As his mom, you know that homeschooling works for him. There is no "behind" if you are going at your child's pace. He will flourish at his own level, instead of struggling at whatever level others are claiming he should be at. You love him too much to ever fail him! He has so many wonderful opportunities at home with you that many children will never be fortunate enough to experience, and that some public school educators do not yet understand. Hang in there ~ praying for your family! Also praying for the heart of that school's principal and psychologist, that they remain open to different ways of doing things, and that they realize and are eventually able to give you the encouragement and support that you need! :D
~ Sarah :D

Mama of three:
*12 yr old son - Rev to Rev & DITHOR 6/7/8 (completed Res to Ref & DITHOR 4/5)
*8 yr old daughter - Bigger & DITHOR 2/3 (completed Beyond)
*2.5 yr old daughter - Little Hands ages 2/3 options

HSMom
Posts: 26
Joined: Thu Mar 02, 2017 4:47 pm
Location: TN/MS

Re: Just venting

Post by HSMom » Wed Apr 05, 2017 7:50 am

That sounds like a very frustrating situation and I would feel the same way you do. And I agree with the other Sarah. You are doing the best for your son and you know best what he can handle. He obviously needs the slower pace and you are able to give him one-on-one tailored instruction that he could not get ANYWHERE else. You know your son better than any educator, tester, principal, psychologist or therapist. It is very sad that they are so hostile toward you, when I would hope and think they'd be eager to deal with someone who is so obviously devoted to doing the right and best thing for her child.

I can't answer your questions about the Bigger guide as I'm just starting out our homeschool journey in LHFHG, but if you are going at the pace he needs and allowing him the time to learn each concept then it sounds like you are doing great. As I said, that is so much more than he'd get in a public school. He'd be left high and dry if he was falling behind.

The fact that "your son worked hard" for the psychologist speaks volumes to your work with him. Were he in public school, I would bet that he'd be discouraged and frustrated at this point. But because you are able to go at his pace and work with him, he has confidence and is willing to "work hard". Pat yourself on the back for that!! You are definitely not failing him!! It is the school system that is failing him - they cannot see what is best - they are so busy looking at the forest they cannot see the tree right in front of them.

Also, you mentioned you have a new baby!!! I also have a 5 month old - and it is tough!! Give yourself grace that you are doing what you need to do for your family, so everyone can keep their sanity and you can be the mom you need to be. :) Having a baby makes everything harder - you're sleep deprived, hormonal, and adjusting to what life looks like now.

Praying that God will give you strength and clarity, that He will give these individuals you have to deal with grace and eyes to see clearly the situation with your son. Praying that you will FEEL the Lord's favor and that He will encourage you and strengthen you.

Blessings and love!! <3 <3
~Christina
dd ('11) - LHFHG '17/'18
ds ('14)
dd ('16)

MomtoJGJE
Posts: 1534
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 7:20 pm
Location: Gastonia, NC

Re: Just venting

Post by MomtoJGJE » Wed Apr 05, 2017 10:37 am

Bigger is perfect for 3rd grade! Like the earlier posters said, they are testing him on info their particular school has specifically taught the kids there. If you aren't getting done until the end of summer with Bigger, then the highest level they should expect (average or whatever) would be somewhere around Nov/Dec for school kids. At this point in the year they are probably giving him an end of 3rd grade test. Even just those months would make a huge difference in how he tests. And that would be for a neuro-typical child who was taught the same things the kids who have been going to that school for three years.

Basically, I wouldn't listen. Smile and nod. Keep doing what you are doing because it sounds great.

FWIW, my fourth child will be finishing LHFHG and doing Beyond for third grade. She tested around K level after her first grade year... we were about 6 weeks in to LHFHG half speed and she couldn't read. She's ending 2nd grade now (will test in May) and I expect her to test around a mid second grade level. Just for completing most of LHFHG and learning somewhat to read during this past year. All that is expected here is that they progress in something each year. So they can stay the same in math and increase in reading, or whatever.

Nealewill
Posts: 1611
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2013 5:08 pm
Location: Cincinnati, OH

Re: Just venting

Post by Nealewill » Wed Apr 05, 2017 2:21 pm

I haven't read all of the threads yet but Bigger is wonderful for 3rd grade. My son was diagnosed with auditory processing disorder 2 years ago and in a January he was diagnosed with ADHD in inattentive tasks, generalized anxiety, and receptive language disorder. They did some MAJOR testing and it took days to complete. We went through our local children's hospital and they were wonderful. It did include an IQ test and I was worried about it but was amazed to find out that my son has extremely high visual memory, he is a little ahead in math, normal in all areas except receiving language. It was a bit freeing for me because I worry over so much stuff and they made sure to focus on his strength as well as his weaknesses in the results. He is having a reading assessment done in May because that is the earliest I could get him and he is really STUGGLING right now in remembering anything he reads or understanding the flow of the story when he reads something. So we will hopefully have some good tools for him with therapy once we begin again.

As for your concern about Bigger and the grade he will be in, 3rd is fine. My son did Bigger for as is (he only read a few extensions) and it was perfect. My son will not complete the final guide at all when he graduates and I am totally okay with that! HOD is a great program and very full and meaty. Once we get to his high school year, I will probably need to shift a few things to make sure he covers all of the electives I want him to have (ie - he hates art and he doesn't need 1 full credit our of it. I am sure he will skip either technique or history). But if you do Bigger for 3rd grade, he will be ready for the final guide by his 12th grade year. I love that HOD is very adaptable for kids to meet each at his or her own level. It is has been a Godsend in our home! And with my son, him being in the middle, I love that I can pair him with his younger sister for school. My son and oldest are 18 months apart and my son and youngest are 20 months apart. Most would think I would put my son with his older sister. But she is so much more advance in schooling than him that placement makes much more sense to put him with his younger sister. And that is exactly what HOD is all about - placement! Sam is learning every year. He is growing in skills. I couldn't ask for more.

I am praying that all goes well with testing. I know you don't really want to do it but it might be good to have fresh testing done. It will highlight the exact areas he needs therapy and can make the therapy better for the future. That is actually why we decided to go through the testing again this year. I felt like therapy was stalling a bit and we didn't really know what to focus on. The testing highlighted his specific deficiencies. While he didn't like having the testing done either, I am glad we persevered through it. Praying all goes well for you too even though you mentioned the person doing it may not have a good attitude.

One final piece of encouragement - my oldest STUGGLED so much with testing when she was younger. It wasn't until she was 10 that her scores skyrocketed. Now she is usually in the 80-90th percentile on the IOWA test. When she was younger, it was more like 40th :-o! But kids learn different skills at different times. Don't sweat it! Those skills will come with level. If they are truly doing testing to see his IQ and abilities, they won't be giving him a standardized test. That isn't an IQ test. Also - I would give yourself some grace. Since he would have an IEP, there is no saying whether or not he wouldn't be behind if he was in school too. Just breath and ask God for strength. I know you said he digressed with private but I do wonder if you switched therapist privately or give it more time privately if he would be fine. My son is sensitive to switching therapist too. Praying for you though.
Daneale

DD 13 WG
DS 12 R2R
DD 10 R2R

Enjoyed DITHOR, Little Hearts, Beyond, Bigger, Preparing, CTC, R2R, RevtoRev, MtMM

annaz
Posts: 833
Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2009 12:47 pm

Re: Just venting

Post by annaz » Wed Apr 05, 2017 7:44 pm

I sent you a pm with info that may help you.

Rest assured, you are the best thing for your children!
Married 1994
One DD 6/2000
One DH :)
One cat
One dog
Three horses :shock:

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