Introverted personality & HOD..

[kidsforHim]

HI! any introverted moms out there using HOD and if so, how are you doing it?? any tips, suggestions, ideas? PM would be fine. So many threads talk about 'modifying for the child with learning challenges" is there any modifying for the introverted mom?? It's hard for me to let go of something that my child loves but I need help, all the interacting with her gets to me, like just burnt out.

[StephanieU]

I am totally an introvert! And HOD seems to work well for us. Although I do have to read a lot to my daughter and interact with her, it is basically all scripted for me. I know exactly what to say and do, and I can follow that. PLus, starting next year (Preparing), independent work is introduced. By the end of MtMM, their time with the parent is 1-1.5 hours total a day.

[LynnH]

I am an introvert, with my family not quite as much, but I do need my down time. In the younger ages I think no matter what curriculum you use you will have to interact more than you are comfortable with. It is just the nature of teaching younger kids. I know my friend that did Bigger with one and had one doing RTR this past year made sure she had a break around lunch time that was her time. She rode her treadmill in another part of her house and had them eat lunch and watch educational videos. If that won't work then I would make sure that as soon as school is over you then have at least 1 hour of more to do what recharges you. For me it is doing stuff on the computer or scrapbooking. This is a good time for your dc to learn to entertain themselves. I see you have one that is close to moving up to Bigger and is over 9. If she is capable of doing the science reading by herself then maybe have her take over that half way through the year. That will give you a little break. Just know that by Preparing she will do more and more without you. I find I have lots of time during the day where I am just available, but not directly interacting. Also I don't know if you try and school year round, but I think for introverts in order to prevent burn out you have to take summers off as well as we take a week off at Thanksgiving and for Spring Break and then 2 weeks at Christmas. I have to have these me times.

[rumkimom]

I am too. I NEED my alone time. I have always tried to get all our schoolwork done by noon so that I could have that time after lunch. Not sure if it will work this year as I am switching my younger daughter (age 14) to HOD and for the last 2 years has done much of her work independently. She is mildly autistic so a schedule works best for her and once she is in the routine she is good. I told her going into High School some things have to change (now is perfect to change her because of that)....and then once she gets used to it, it will be similar for the next 4 years. The change is going to be very hard for her due to her autistic nature....and that will also make it hard for me as she will whine and complain (and we will see lots of tears in the beginning). I am going to try to ease her into it and not do everything right away. LA will be the one I start with (she is still doing math from the summer)...very hard for her as she has expressive/receptive language disorder.

[Lynn3ggb]

My kids and I recently took a personality test just for fun. My results said I was a 98% introvert! I knew I was a keep to myself kind of gal, but 98%...wow. I need space too. I don't know what ages you are working with, but HOD moves toward independence for the child with each guide. My son did Creation to Christ for his first year with HOD. He was a very dependent child. He needed guidance in everything and he hated school. As the weeks went by, I realized he was asking for my help less and less. I still needed to help him with math and language, but he just started taking responsibility for his work. He started liking school and beginning his day without any prompting from me! I think this was because the guides are so well laid out and understandable, and because he truly enjoyed the material. He really enjoyed getting to check off each box as he completed it. Who knew, my son was going to become a box checker (like his mom)? I think this program is totally practical for mom's like us.

[Nealewill]

Which levels are you completing? What are the areas that get to you? Are you busy during the day with a lot of other things?

I only ask these questions because I am right on the border between introverted and extroverted. I am actually a homebody entirely but will have a good time with others too. However, I NEED my space and time. Most of the time - when I assess what takes the most time from me, it is things I would have to do even if I didn't do HOD. And I then look at how much time I would spending if I didn't do HOD. So things like spelling, math teaching, writing, all of those things I would do regardless of whether or not I did HOD. Does that makes sense?

So if you could list where you are most exhausted or why or what you think drains you, then maybe we could help

[kidsforHim]

I appreciate all the responses. I was just wanting to find out if this program worked or how it worked if you had this kind of personallity. It sounds like it's working well for those who have replied.
Up til now, I have only 1 child using HOD. She is the youngest of 4. She has 3 older brothers - 16, 14,& 11. The two oldest will be using HOD for the first time this coming school year. My DD is 8, turning 9 in a month. I have used CLE learning to read and math for all of them when they started school. THe boys, after that 1st year with CLE, were independent workers. I was available to give help, but was not having to be giving them their lessons. THey learned to read and they learned well and so with careful choosing I would find curriculum that was written directly to them. After jumping around a bit in math I found Teaching Textbooks which was one of the best things I did,. for me AND them. JUST giving a background here. Those early years when they were all so young, the two older boys simply read A LOT of books on history and science. One year we even went all ACE. It was a difficult decision but ended up the best thing..for me. I was not so stressed out and felt great at the end of the year. BUT for my kids, it wasn't such a great fit at least for the older 2. The one got bogged down with the amount of work, the other.. He would get it done but I could sense near the end of that year he was losing the joy of learning. While the curriculum was MY fit, I just couldnt keep using it for them. Its perfect for my 3rd DS.

My boys have been pretty much totally independent in their schooling. Then came our DD. Right from the start she was just more demanding in her needs (is that a girl thing??) When we started school with her she didn't catch on to things as easy as her brothers. It took a little different approach with her before she was ready to use CLE LtR program but now she is reading and reading all the time. In math she has required more of my help as well and this has been the most difficult for her but we are slowly making progress. It's just at this point, age, grade, the boys were very independent in their work and didn't need me so much. She could very well do beyond history readings on her own..if she WOULD. I can hear voices now saying, 'OH, but she is young yet and is still needing that one on one time." Yes, probably so, and the boys probably did too, and they didn't get it.. not in school time. Maybe at bedtime.. we would have a story or sing some sunday school choruses. My husband would help with that. Maybe I should mention my age..I'm soon to be ..UGH! 46

I fear I'm rambling. Having a hard time putting it in words! I just can't handle much coming at me, never could. I've stretched.. can handle more than I could. I just don't do well at all with the 'being needed' every day, in her school, every subject. Even when its scripted.. I get tired of talking, reading. Giving a little instruction here and there is ok, then I can keep quiet for awhile, keeping nearby but not directly working with them. I had a hard time last year with her not being able to 'do school' until I was there. We were doing the last half of Little Hearts and first half of Beyond. That constant interaction every day.. It drains me.. emotionally, physically, mentally. Usually have to take a nap every day during the school year. The kids are great about it usually and will read, listen to stories or do something quiet.
Again, after all this RAmbling, I was wanting to hear how others were handling HOD as an introvert type.
Praying God will guide me to what to use for my DD this coming school year. Something that will work for both of us OR to just continue with HOD trusting He will give me the needed strength etc.

[kidsforHim]

Ok so now I feel really, really embarrased for all that rambling and for mentioning other curriculum
Have homeschooled right from the start, 9yrs, I have always tried to get curriculum that my children could do on their own. They have become very independent in their schooling. Yet, even then, I find homeschooling to be stressful and very taxing on my energies. I do also have physical problems which adds to the mix. And now, here I have been trying to use a curriculum that has required more from me than what I have been accustomed to. I chose it because my daughter is a doer. She loves making things and doing art stuff. I started her out maybe a little low in level but that was to make it a bit 'lighter' for both of us. I thought too, she could do some on her own. She wasn't as happy with it when I wasn't as involved. Of course, I don't blame her. I also went with HOD after trying the workbook approach. She does ok for awhile and then burns out with them. But she didn't make connections as well when I was the one giving info from the HOD boxes. When she can 'see' it, it seems to stick or click better. Doing the activities didn't seem to help much either. But then I was always having to look back to the box because I can't remember what came next or what I was suppose to say. She enjoyed the activities, just didn't seem to connect it or get the point of it. Was afraid sometimes she was losing interest but maybe that is because she was too low in placement? She would have had trouble with Bigger if I had put her there last year though. I have sensed this with her..she also seems to need 'breaks' from things. She can only handle some much thinking. We often took several days off and then she was good to go again. I have to watch her work load as well. Needs it simple. That's why I though HOD might be good---- It IS!! I can't seem to find the balance with this child, what works for her but is managable for me.

[Nealewill]

Don't feel embarrassed. Every one I know should use curriculum that works for them and their families. I am not my friends and they aren't me. For me - HOD is my perfect fit. I did find last year that I was tired and also needed a 30 minute nap most days in the afternoon. Also - I only started HOD 2 years ago. I have used various vendors as well before. Even my first year with HOD, I didn't switch everything over. Last year I did work toward that goal. But if you don't, that is okay . You should do what you need to do. And on here - most of us do use HOD and definitely love it. It is a message board to help users of the program use the program successfully. So many people on here will talk about how much they love it and how it works for them. I am sure there are people who have used HOD and then chose a different path. And that is okay. Everyone needs to do what works for them. Again, for me and many others, they do love HOD and that is why they are on here sharing what has worked for them with this program.

If it were me, and you feel like HOD is a good fit for your dd, I would check the placement chart and see where she places. You can always finish a level but it if it is too easy, then you can definitely give her a bump. Also, I do need my kids to be independent as well. With HOD, it is hard to make them totally independent because HOD still has the parents teach math, grammar, writing and spelling to an extent. Sounds like TT is a good fit for you family. I wouldn't switch. Also - once your dd gets to the point that she can read alone, I would let her. She might not like it but oh well I say that with love. I do think there is a balance. Last year my dd read a lot of the history, science and Bible alone. She got tired of waiting for me. She was doing Little Hearts last year because she had done Beyond the year before. This year, I am scheduling her to complete the notebooking, timeline, vocabulary, music and science reading alone. Other than that, I will be involved with her for the history readings, storytime, poetry, Bible and the 3rs. I will also be involved with her on science experiments and rotating box hands on activity. But other than that - she is going to be responsible for those things this year. I am sure some moms would think I am crazy and unreasonable. But honestly, I don't care (yes...I just said that). My dd can do it, she reads a lot, and quite frankly, I need her to do it. I say all this now and we will see how it goes. But this is my plan. I think if your dd loves doing HOD, I might mention some expectations you have for her. With her age, if she can write quite a bit, I would bump her up to Bigger and I might even consider seeing if she places in Preparing. How much did she write last year in Beyond? Does she read really well? If she can write quite a bit and she does like to read, I would consider preparing. Again, I am sure some people probably wouldn't do that. If you are concerned about skipping a level or she doesn't place in that level, then I would let her do some of the reading from Bigger. Bigger really is a wonderful level! I know your dd would love it. But I would pray about it.

As for being zapped, school definitely does take from me. Have you heard of Sabbath schooling? I know many moms who do this. They so do school for 6 weeks and then take 1 week off. Have you considered a schedule like this? Also, I am not sure of your outside commitments. If they are extensive, those completely zap my energy. I just can't even deal with my day if I have to many things jammed into it. I would prayerfully consider how much your kids do outside the home. And I would pray about having your husband help with these things. We dropped Spring and Summer sports last year and I was so glad we did. We are still letting our kids play soccer in the fall and basket ball in the winter. But I could seriously let these things go! My kids love them and my hubby helps to get the kids there. So I am not going to complain. But it is a lot of work at times.

[kidsforHim]

Nealewill: Thanks for your kind words. I will continue to pray for the direction we are to take with our DD. You have given me encouragement, hope, and courage to continue if that is God's will. To see better how I could give her more of the responsibility in getting it done has helped tremendously. I am of the thinking that if the child is capable, then let them do it. She does read well and with expression when I've had her read out loud. As for writing hmmm.. she balked at the poems but could do a stanza each day. She started to dread it so I used a timer and set it for somewhere between 5-10min. and the first time of using the timer she pretty near completed the poem! Most of the time though she could do a stanza or a part of the next within that time range. A few times she never completed a whole poem. With requiring her to do more on her own, and what I said about the writing, I'm wondering if we should just continue on with Beyond where we left off?? or would it be good to move her on up to Bigger at the start of this school year??

I am sure some moms would think I am crazy and unreasonable. But honestly, I don't care (yes...I just said that).

I like that!

Have you heard of Sabbath schooling? I know many moms who do this. They so do school for 6 weeks and then take 1 week off. Have you considered a schedule like this?

Yes I have read about some that do this. Wasn't sure how it worked.. but rather liked the sound of it. Would I have to be schooling year round though to get my days in? We need 176.

Also, I am not sure of your outside commitments.

NO, we don't have any thing going for anybody. Just living..at home... church Sundays and mid-week. I do wish I could get some music lessons for them though.

[Nealewill]

If it were me, I would bump her. My kids didn't balk too much at writing the poem but in a way, I think doing the copy work from the Bible and books can be a bit more exciting and satisfying as they get older. They are not only copying sentences but they are drawing pictures and labeling the pictures. I know my son loved that he "created" a really cool binder by the time the year was done. He still looks at it. It is so neat to see how much his handwriting and drawing has changed. And he looks back at it and says, remember this....blah blah blah? I feel like he had a strong sense of accomplishment from the year. Also - since your dd reads well, I would have her read the science to herself. It starts off in fairly short segments. I felt like the history readings had a bit more challenging vocabulary. But I remember once we go to the Wright Brothers, my son was reading the history book alone. He never read both history and science at the same time though. He is actually not that strong of a reader. I am planning to take Preparing slowly when we start if we need to but looking forward to him being able to read more and to do more alone. One last thing - do you do the storytime box from Bigger? Do you do DITHOR? If you are doing the story time box and your dd is reading quite a bit with the history and science then you could always wait on DITHOR. That would save a little bit of time. With my son - I think my day took about 1.5 hours or so with him alone. That was for everything I did with him. But he is VERY diligent. My girls....good night! I have to crack a whip with my oldest. My youngest isn't nearly as bad but seems to be headed in that direction more and more.....

[queenireneof3]

This is an interesting thread. I actually spent a lot of time this summer googling "introverted homeschool mom". I was feeling very similar to you. I have a baby due in a month and three children who just plain need lots of time! There are quite a few bloggers who are introverted homeschool moms and have written great articles. Just reading about the legitimate needs of an introvert was super helpful for me. One blogger mom said, "Time alone is NOT a luxury for the introvert." I tried to plan our schedule this year with that in mind. I have a little over an hour planned for lunch so I can take a breather as well as get lunch on the table. Sometimes I will eat alone and let the kids eat together. I will also try to have school done by 2:30 everyday, so I can have some time to myself in the afternoon before the next wave of the evening activities begin. Someone recommended using a timer for harder subjects so that they don't drag on and eat up the day. We will do this for math and when the timer dings, we will stop wherever we are and pick it up the next day. Another option would be to let the child do any work they haven't finished by the end of timer at the end of the day if it is something they can work on by themselves. (Kind of like homework!). This takes the pressure off of you having to sit with them for as long as it takes and prolonging the day too much.

I also struggle with the feeling of being needed constantly, it is very draining.I have had conversations with my older two kids about introvertedness vs. extrovertedness. I want them to understand why I take time to be alone. I equate it to a cell phone. For the introvert, being with people is like using a cell phone that is not plugged in. It will work great and do lots of things, but all of those things with people uses or drains the battery. Eventually, it has to be recharged or it just won't work. For an extrovert, being with people is what charges their "cell phone". Being alone drains their batteries. One is not better than the other or more righteous. It is purely personality. This analogy has helped my have compassion for my extroverted or needy kiddos. They need people time (or mommy time!) like I need alone time. So I plan in my schedule one on one time for their schooling as well as make sure they understand why I am having alone time. Also, most introverted homeschool moms who blogged about it said that quiet time in the afternoon was not optional even into the teenage years. It is a valuable thing for kids to be able to slow down and be quiet and respect others in the family who need that time.

I also think it is fair for really needy kiddos to set a timer or time limit for my alone time so I wont abuse it (let it go too long). The other thing I was struck by in those articles was to make sure that the alone time is well spent. In other words, mindlessly searching the web or watching a sitcom may or may not legitimately recharge you. Time with the Lord should be a number one priority for that alone time (I teach my kids to do something quietly during my quiet time and make sure they know what I am doing so that they can see that I value it!) as well as whatever is recharging: reading, arts, crafts, tea and music...

I have had to learn to ask my children and my husband for that time since I tend to be a doormat. I used to think I was being selfish, but I know that I am a better momma when I am "fully charged"!

As far as HOD goes, I spend a lot of time reading on these forums other peoples schedules with multiple guides running so I could figure out how to best run it in my house. We start at 9 and hopefully are done by 2:30. I started with the priorities 1. long lunch break and 2. definite end time and then worked the schedule around that. Just having a time or times scheduled when the kids and I know is my down time is a good start. Plan breaks as often as you need. You know the times of day you tend to burn out.

I will add my schedule to the schedule thread hopefully soon!

[Gwenny]

This was very good queenireneof3, thanks so much for sharing that!

[kidsforHim]

queenirenepf3 -- YES! Thank you. That was so good and very helpful. I am planning on using the timer also, for math. We will be using CLE and it can take longer to get done. So I plan to use the alloted time in Bigger for math and set the timer and be done when it goes off and continue with it the next day. (As long as there's been no dallying!)

Nealewill --- No, we haven't been using DITHOR. I tried some of the storytime but didn't stick with it. I read 'A Lion to Guard Us" which she loved and later she read that book cover to cover two seperate times on her own! I was having her read some of the ER books, the ones nearer the end. The last book she read ( and hasn't finished ) was The Bears on Hemlock Mountain. I don't know what happened but we haven't gotten back to it.
I was thinking too that the variety of writing in Bigger might actually be more interesting to her. She did LIKE the poems though.
We actually started Bigger 2 years ago. I had combined her with her brother. She would have been 7 then. We got about a month of it done. She does remember the history books. She refers to them as "those red books" and has shown a little bit of anxiousness towards them. I might have to read those for awhile.


I have found too that it is very helpful and needed, to have some alone time with my husband outside of the 4 walls of the house. About 2 years ago, we started to reserve friday night for that. We take the kids to his Aunt. We don't have a lot of time but just that 1-1 1/2 hrs. away from the kids really helps.

I stumbled across the term 'introverted' quite some time back and I thought ' that's ME! There is a NAME for this!?! and I'm not alone, or 'different' or weird. THere really are people out there who feel like I do. And now to find that some of you are using HOD-- I never would have guessed it just from reading posts. You all seemed to have it all together and just whiz through your days. But of course that's not even realistic!

[Nealewill]

If she can read "A Lion to Guard to Us", then she could probably do quite a bit of the reading from Bigger if you wanted. Bigger will increase her writing abilities. We just started school yesterday and I am absolutely amazed at how well each guide has prepared my kids for the next level. I know I read that on here regularly but this is the first time I am repeating a guide. We started HOD 2 years ago and my oldest started with Preparing while my younger two started in Beyond. After that year, my oldest went to CTC, my middle went to Bigger and then my youngest went to Little Hearts (I added some copywork just keep it the same level of workload as Beyond and let my youngest do grammar and cursive with big bro). So now this year is my 3rd year with HOD and my kids had a really great day yesterday! I feel like it has been fantastic compared to what I expected. Each guide does increase in volume and challenge but I am amazed at how well each guide truly does prepare kids for the next guide. For example, last year in Bigger, my son's guide would have me read science only 4 days per week with 1 separate day where he would complete a notebooking page. This year in science, on day 1, he had to read and then complete the notebooking page in one day. It went great! He had no trouble with the increase. I do remember the year I started with my oldest being in Preparing and I remember how challenged she was. I think part if it is because we had never done HOD before and that was an adjustment. But I also think part of it is just her personality (for example, it took her 45 minutes yesterday to read John chapter 18....seriously?!?!?!.....pay attention!!! LOL). But I also remember it being quite an increase in reading and writing volume from what she was used to as well. I am excited to see that my son probably won't be stressed out by this because he has the benefit of having 2 guides under his belt Since it sounds like your dd will probably need some time getting used to volume of writing, I would give Bigger a shot again. You might even be able to have her do the majority of the reading herself. My youngest is a reader. I am expecting that by Christmas she will do most or all of the history readings and all of the science reading alone. She is also my child who wouldn't surprise me if she took on her storytime eventually. She did it in Little Hearts. She told me she didn't like waiting so long in the day so she read the majority of the Burgess books to herself. And she has re-read several of them already this summer. I actually thought she was going to snatch the "Phyllis Wheatley" book out of my hand yesterday and keep reading once our storytime portion was over LOL. She told me she just loves that book and repeated asked me if I was sure that I could read just a little bit more Luckily for her, we will be doing Biography soon in DITHOR and she can read Amelia Earhart and get her fix that way LOL.

One last thought - I know you mentioned that your child didn't like Bears on Hemlock Mountain. I wouldn't go back and make her read it or anything. If you aren't using a different literature program, I would consider giving DITHOR a shot. You could order either the level 2 or 3 books. I have both sets and my youngest and middle child are doing DITHOR level 2/3 student book at the same time. So I put all of the books out on the floor and I let my two younger kids settle who would read which book from which book pack for each genre for level 2/3. I will say that the books from Level 3 in general tend to be longer than the books from Level 2. But some books are easier and some are more challenging. All are excellent! And I would also try and encourage your dd to finish the books once you start them even if you don't care for the book. One thing I found out with my oldest is that her and I have very different tastes in books. DITHOR provided book types that I would have never offered. For example, I hate Folk Tale books and am not too fond of Humor ones either. My oldest loves them! I would have never discovered this if I had not given her the opportunity to experience different genres. Now...there were some books she didn't particularly care for. Oh well. I can't think of any she actually hated but some were just not her favorite. That is okay to. Sometimes life is filled with things you don't want to do. Better to learn now how to accomplish getting things done when you don't want to than to have issues with it later. I am not saying that is the case for you. I am just saying that is motto in my house. And all in all - my kids don't have too many things they don't like. For my oldest - she absolutely hates written narrations. If she could never have to do one of those again, that would make her VERY happy. And even at the beginning of CTC, she would cry on day 4 because she had to do one. But oh well. I probably sound horribly insensitive and sometimes I am. But the reality is, there will be things in life you won't want to do. Just do it and get it over with She no longer cries about it. But yesterday for our first day back, she completed U31D4 in CTC and on that day was a written narration. I heard a big sigh when realized she had to do it. But she did it without a formal verbal complaint! I am such a proud mama. Next year she will have 2 written narrations in R2R. Oh well...... I haven't told her yet...... But I am sure she will do it and get it done. Who knows, she may even grow to like it eventually.