Question on how to get my son inspired?

[forever lovers]

Good morning I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to help your children stay focused on their school without always feeling like you're nagging them. I love the whole approach of HOD so much, but I find myself second guessing myself almost every day with my son. He can do his work just fine but I feel like I have to always be on him to stay focused. He is very artistic and loves to draw all the time, but I don't always know how teach him sometimes. I struggle with being confident in my decisions a lot. I would love if you could pray for me in this area. I have been so encouraged by the ladies on this board! God bless you as you teach your children,
Annalisa

[mamanlait]

Annalisa,
I think all caring moms second guess themselves at least once a day over something!
How old is your son and what guide is he working out of?
Do you have some sort of written schedule?

[Nealewill]

As an encouragement, my oldest is the same way Last year with Preparing was kind of rough! It was a learning experience for both of us. I had to learn how to manage her day yet encourage her to be more independent. Now though, I find that because we spent that whole year on her being independent, she is now

I do schedule her day and the order of the boxes. I balance how much she reads in the AM versus how much in PM. I always do something together with her to start (DITHOR and math), then she does history, then we close the AM with me reading storytime. Then after lunch we do geography/bible, she does indpedent bible and science, and then we close to day with spelling and grammar/writing. For us, this works well. I plan to try and shift my younger kids as they come up with something of a similar schedule. I just find that if she has too much reading a time, she becomes overwhelmend and has a hard time. By splitting it, it helps her tremendously.

[Rice]

My oldest DS is the same and always has been. It takes a lot each year to find a groove and find what motivates (not much) at least enough to get through the work each day/week.

I started this year planning everything for him (when to meet with me, which subjects at which times, etc.) then, fairly quickly moved to selecting the subjects but except for when he worked with me he chose the order. Unfortunately, we weren't up to full speed so it was hard to know how much to assign each day (how much writing vs reading vs...) and if we did well, we just added more on to make up for the bad days. Oy! Finally we got to a point where I knew they were capable of doing full speed, or at least almost and they needed more ownership so about 2 weeks ago I said they had a goal: one unit in 5 days. If they finish in 5 days, great! If they finish in 4 by working hard, they get day 5 off! If they are not done by the end of 5 days then they will have to catch up on Saturday! Well, DS has stepped up! His brother and sister find it relatively easy to get done in 5 days and both finished in 4 the first time. He needed me to help on day 5 to organize and catch up with other things he'd missed in previous weeks as well as to monitor that he finished this unit's work. Next unit won't be so hard on day 5, even if he's not done by day 4 (which he won't likely be, but who knows?). This DS has trouble with transitions and organization in addition to dysgraphia so finishing a unit in 5 days is a goal that will stretch him as well as help him learn the consequences (working on day 5 while siblings are done) without feeling behind (finishing on day 5 is great!). This way he can feel good about his work and I don't have to cajole, plead or punish every 1/2 hour, lol, and we will still get done the year on time! The other day he even chose to finish his work after school BEFORE playing some Minecraft!!!

It will be interesting to see, when he's experienced a few weeks of having more school days than his siblings, if the motivation continues. I will have to be careful to add in some incentives (a day off when he hits 3 units in 15 days, maybe?) to keep him seeing the positive of his perseverance.

Another thing that worked for him last year (different curriculum) was giving him rewards for being on track at specific times in our day: ready for school (routine & house blessing done) on time, on track for school by snack, on track for finishing in good time by lunch break. That way, if he missed one goal he still had opportunity to earn the others. For him, each was worth 10 minutes of media time (usually computer games). For another student their personal "currency" will be something else, but media is a big motivator for him.

Oh, and despite these things that are working for my DS to get his school work done in a decent number of days, he's still working way longer through the day (like, regular PS hours most days as opposed to his siblings who are done by 1ish) than needed, simply because he does not have the personal focus and self discipline and organizational skills to stay focused with our busy household, make transitions quickly or self-regulate to stay away from siblings during work time. However, I can't regulate him all the time and the only way he can learn is to experience his own consequences, not have me hovering constantly. That said, I find that many times per day I have to remind him to leave a sibling alone or to get his snack & move on or to find the book he needs or . . . BUT, at least he's starting to take ownership for completing his work in a timely manner. Baby steps.

Annalisa, please be encouraged that some times our discouragement is what spurs us on to find out what works. I had a really rough fall this year but things are finally looking like I might survive this school year, lol, maybe even with a smile! The issues are still there, but I've learned to adapt or accommodate some of them and simply accept that others are there that we will deal with to different degrees almost every day. That's how life will be for us and now that I know that it's easier to look past those things to what we do have control over and what works for us.

It may be trial and error for quite a while (it's been over 2 months for us before finding what works this year for us). But eventually God will lead you to what will work for you and your DS for this time. It might be different next year or even next semester, but that's a worry for another day. Keep trying different things and try not to make yourself bald before things click.

Blessings in the mean time,