DS15~juggling job and MTMM.

[juliej]

Hello everyone. Needing suggestions with our year! DS is doing MtMM (with only a few extensions due to his dyslexia) this year and is loving it. Our struggle is balancing everything as he has acquired a little job at our local music store. At this point, he is working on Mondays from 10-1:30 and Thursdays from 10-1:30 and then has his guitar lesson from 1:30-2:30. This job is an answer to prayer as he once said it would be his dream to work at this store. The owner approached me about him working and he is a wonderful mentor to our son. I am often tempted to make him "do school" for long hours once he gets home on Mondays and Thursday, but this is miserable. I have tried to cut some things from MtMM, but it is all SO good, I just don't want to do that. One of his challenges is that he is a very slow reader. Comprehension is very good, it just takes him forever to read. He will sometimes read three or four pages from his DITHOR book at night in bed, which is helpful. Just hoping someone might have experience with this or suggestions that I have not considered. Thanks so much.

[MomtoJGJE]

What about audio books so he can "read" while doing something else and it'll be a bit faster?

[Gwenny]

He can get up early on those mornings and get some done before work and then he will have less after. This is good preparation for real life! What a great opportunity for him to learn to handle lots of different things. I would NOT lighten his school load. He can get creative to get it done. Let him know that it's a great opportunity, but that school is top priority right now. If he can't handle both, then the job goes first. He should be motivated!

[MelInKansas]

Do you only have 4 school days in the week? Because I think it is reasonable to expect him to get his 4 days of school work done in 5 days, even with those work hours added in. I agree with Gwenny, you should expect him to do his work and get it done, help him work out how to do it as best he can, and do whatever you can to help him work through the reading. If he needs to do that first, when he is fresh, for example then make sure he is doing it that way.

[Nealewill]

I completely agree with many ladies on here. I would not lighten his load at all.

This is excellent prep for life in general! We all go through season where life is tough and a lot of work. I remember being in high school, going to school from 7:30-2:30 every day, play sports from 3:00-5:00, and having between 2-3 hours of homework each night. And I worked on Friday nights and 1 weekend day (my parents would only let me work around 10 hours per week). This was my life! I survived but it was B-U-S-Y!!!!

Now, I homeschool so that my kids don't necessarily have to have such a busy life. I didn't like being that busy and I vowed that I would not allow school to rule my kids schedule. However, what I have found is that when kids get older, they do need to have more school. It isn't just about learning, it is about character. HOD is set up for the kids to have up to 5 hours a day 4 days per week by the time they are in MTMM. That is totally appropriate IMHO. Since this is something he likes and something you like, I would look at scheduling his school two different ways. He could split 1 of his days in the guide between M and W. So, for example, I would do the left side day 1 on Monday. Then Tuesday, finish the right side day 1 and do the left side day 2. Then Wednesday do the right side of day 2. Thursday and Friday would be reserved for day 3 and day 4. He may end up working a little bit late on Monday and Tuesday but that is okay. He is working on a goal (working for money and playing his instrument) and he still is completing his education. The other thing you could do, you could have him do the extra day's worth of the guide on Saturdays and he wouldn't do school on Mondays and Wednesdays.

I think sometimes it is plain hard sometimes learning how to juggle this as the mom. I want my kids to get to play. I want my kids to have fun. I want my kids to get to pursue non-traditional opportunities. And I don't want them to do school ALL the time. But I also want my kids to have a good education to prepare them for whatever it is they want to do in life. I belong to co-op we go once a week and there are many different styles of homeschooling. I think it is hard when I look at what some parents do and their kids are done with school so fast. But then I remember, I chose HOD because of the balance, level of expectation, the volume of learning, and the skills they teach. And I am just saying this as an encouragement. I recently felt frustrated because I felt like my oldest dd's school was taking too long. She has a lot of goals for a 9 year old (she will be 10 at the end of the month)! But when I assessed her, I realized that she really only does 4.5 hours of school a day 4 days a week. And I very much appreciated all the encourage moms that reminded me that this is an appropriate amount of school. I agree with them so much! If she went to school, she would be gone 6 hours a day at school, have nightly homework, this would be 5 days a week and not 4, and she would never get to pursue these things. So it basically came down to, you want to go and do these things (piano, singing, AWANA, and acting) but you need to know that school is important! If you want to do the other stuff, then you need to get school done. I feel like I am preparing her for life here too. If you think about it, you go to college and they don't care if have life going on. If you don't get your work done, you fail. I don't know what my kids want to do when they get older, my hope is college, but even if it isn't, I want them to learn how to work hard! I feel like having them take on the responsibility of getting their schoolwork done is a blessing waiting to happen. HOD is great because it is set up in a very balanced fashion. I don't feel like it is too much. It is very age appropriate. And I do think older kids should have more than 2 hours of school a day like some homeschoolers I know. I want my kids to learn and learn to work hard. And my kids LOVE what they do with HOD anyways (at least as much as kids can love school and so much more than worksheets and boring stuff). But I think this is a great opportunity for you to help him to become responsible. Just my 2 cents

[Jennymommy]

I totally relate. My son is doing WG this year along with a job one day a week, Civil Air Patrol one night a week, youth group, and then he added cross country. This was a huge jump for him, and I was so tempted to lighten his load, but I let him sort it out. He has really stepped up and impressed himself and us. I know it is hard for him sometimes, but the pride he has as he handles his responsibility well, is priceless. I would note however, that MTMM with extensions and DITHR is a heavy workload, and maybe some rearranging would help? Maybe a science and DITHR day so there is less switching of subjects?

[mamanlait]

Dd 13 is finishing up MMtM and also doing 2 foreign language classes, twice a week (that's her "thing" and she loves it). She spends about 1.5-3 hours a day extra either studying or taking the classes. It's been a tough transition this year with the added demands but I'll tell you what has worked for us, maybe it will help you.

M/W/F (full HOD): 8-3 including piano practice and studying languages (tonight, though, she finished at 4:30 -- so it's not always roses).
T/Th (half days HOD): Left side then a Right Side (starts at 7:30 am ends by 9:30 am for class then resumes around 1:30 until 3:30). It takes longer because she has a hard time refocusing after the big chunk of her morning being cut out. This also includes piano and extra study.

Mon: Day 1
Tues: Day 2 Left side
Wed: Day 2 Right side and Day 3 Left side
Thurs: Day 3 Right Side
Fri: Day 4

This system keeps us from having a 5th day off but it keeps our week organized and not overwhelming. I'll add to say that I read Storytime to her in the evenings or during the day when we have time.

I'm very nervous about starting WG in January because of her added class times and study times. I'd love to hear from some high school moms about how they are managing the interest-led extras that seem to arise around this age!

[Carrie]

The ladies are given such wise advice! I agree that if our kiddos are going to have outside jobs and interests, they still need to find a way to get their school done. Our own sons work for us at a minimum 3 times a week between October and February and daily between March and September, so we are used to a very busy/full schedule here too.

My 15 year old currently does school between 7:15-1:00 straight through. He then takes a break for lunch/recess with his brothers/work in the warehouse until 3:30. Then, he returns to finish any needed school work between 3:30-5:00. He also completes an hour of schoolwork to get ahead for the next day between 8:00-9:00 at night (which really helps because he is not a morning person and loves to be "ahead" on his work when he arises in the morning). My older son (aged 18) follows a similar schedule, but gets up earlier to begin so that he doesn't need to work an hour at night like my 15 year old. My two littles begin later in the morning (with my 8 year old starting at 9:00 and my 12 year old beginning at 7:55), and they have breaks in their schedule and quit at 1:00. All my boys have lunch/recess/work together and then return to school from 3:30-5:00 as needed.

I share this just to get you thinking of creative ways that you could accomplish what your son needs to get done while still breaking up the day a bit. I agree that it is a very full schedule, but high school is that way as it is preparation for life! I find that I must juggle work, school, household tasks, and raising a family, and I want my boys to gradually be prepared to do this too!

Blessings,
Carrie

[8arrows]

I only skimmed the other replies (I did see some great alternative time schedules), but I think I am the dissenting voice. It is OK if we have different opinions, right? It also makes it easier for me to refer to my oldest boys because they used something different for high school (since the HOD HS guides were not out). I have graduated two boys, and in our opinion, the best thing we did was let them work. Working is what they will do for life; it is the way they will provide for their family. For my boys, working early and quite a bit, made it possible for them to pay for college--one debt-free, and the other should make it through 3 years debt free. School is important, but HOD is far more schooling than I ever had. For us, I did cut assignments or alter them when the boys were working long hours. They still did far more than I ever did in public school. I cannot remember completing a book in school, but at the end of the year we were done. As a home school family, we have the ability to complete some items on Sat. or in the summer if need be. I think "need be" is the key for me. If I think they need to complete it, we do. If I don't, we don't. I also lean to the side of maintaining a positive home experience. There is only so much time in a day. Our current school directive is that we will do the best and most we can in the time God gives us each day. We are actually completing more this way with better attitudes than when I said, "You have to complete this much each day." If you allow God to schedule your days, you will get everything done that He intends for you to complete. This has been a long road for me, and I am still learning. Music is right up there on the list as well. That is a priority in our home as well. My husband and I use our hard work ethic and our musical abilities often. I cannot say that about all the subjects I took in high school and college. (Obviously, I am glad that HOD is a much richer and sweeter feast than the table I sat at.) I would really examine your goals for your son and petition the Lord for His answer to how you should spend the hours in your day. He is so faithful to show us the way! In summary, I am advocating balance. School is not the end-all (even with something as wonderful as HOD). My children still complete LOTS of school, but when work presents itself (as long as it is a balanced amount), we grab that opportunity. When service presents an opportunity, we don't want to be too busy doing school to take that opportunity, as often, service is the better lesson. Homeschoolers will often counsel parents of young children to take a break from school to work on character or chores. Sometimes, we change the rules as our children grow. It is important to take breaks when there are opportunities for work, service, and obtaining special skills or experiences for our older children as well. May I quietly say, school will still be there, and some of these others opportunities will not. Again, for me, I had to make our days match my speech. What I said was important, we needed to take the time to do. When school ruled our day, I know my speech sounded hypocritical in the ears of my children. I am much more pleased with our new approach with the younger children.

[Gwenny]

Carrie--is your son doing that 4 or 5 days a week?

I hear you 8arrows, keeping the balance is listening to what Jesus has for your family. I know that I tend to err on the side of "oh, he's so busy, he can't do it all, give him a break" and that wasn't such a great thing for my older children that are now grown. It doesn't do them any favors. So, that's how I looked at the situation. It's funny, I've come the other way. I didn't place enough importance on "school" when I schooled my older children. I think I've come more into balance and I definitely thank HOD for that! It has been so wonderful for my kids and me!

[Carrie]

I think there is much combined wisdom in this thread! I agree that balance is important and that it is wise to seek that balance for your family! In answer to the questions, my own boys school 5 days a week, simply because we are unable to start our school year as early as many families because our boys are still working long hours in our warehouse until mid-September. Their work schedule agains picks up in March and continues to gain steam, so we school 5 days a week for our whole school year in order to start a bit later and finish a bit earlier (typically in mid-May) with our guides.

I pray the Lord will show you His best for your family. I know that will look different for each family! May the Lord equip you to answer His call on your life as you homeschool!

Blessings,
Carrie

[juliej]

Thank you all so very much! I actually read your responses early in the weekend, but wanted to ponder them before I responded. I am praying for God's wisdom in knowing how to set up a better schedule for my son. He is very capable of doing his school and doing it well. Thank you again for taking the time to respond!