Is it time to uncombine? UPDATE!

[farmfamily]

Well, I think you should just go ahead and try the half speed/extensions plan for 6 to 8 weeks. After that you will have much more information to make your decision. You may find that dd is ready for full speed by then and your problem is solved at least for now. Or, dd may not be ready for full speed, but you see that ds seems sufficiently challenged as it is (or you find other ways to beef it up). Or, finally, you realize that dd still needs half speed, but ds is ready to soar with a much more independent style of doing Bigger full speed as discussed above. All of them are good options.

[bethelmommy]

Well, I think you should just go ahead and try the half speed/extensions plan for 6 to 8 weeks. After that you will have much more information to make your decision. You may find that dd is ready for full speed by then and your problem is solved at least for now. Or, dd may not be ready for full speed, but you see that ds seems sufficiently challenged as it is (or you find other ways to beef it up). Or, finally, you realize that dd still needs half speed, but ds is ready to soar with a much more independent style of doing Bigger full speed as discussed above. All of them are good options.

Yes, I have talked this over extensively with dh and he agrees we should try half speed with extensions and see how it goes. He does not want this as a long term solution but is OK with it for a few months to see if dd is able to work up to full speed. Even in these last few days I have seen improvement as I sit and work with her for short periods on focused tasks (one line of cursive each day and redoing the days of the week spelling list). Time and a little more personal attention may be just what she needs to help her bridge the gap. I'll be sure to update this thread in a few months and let everyone know how things turn out . Thanks!

[my3sons]

I think you ended up with a good trial run idea here! I was thinking if ds can do just some of the things listed in my pasted post from Carrie independently, that would free up time for you to work with dd, giving her the 1:1 attention she may be needing to really enjoy her year. But, by all means, I'd not assign everything independently suggested, as it would undo the happiness of combining for you. I hope it goes well - let us know what happens! It is so helpful to encourage others with what you've found to work best, as others may be in the same process of making a decision such as this. I think it is fine to go half-speed for a period of time, adding extensions for ds and some more independence in areas your dd could benefit from having you all to herself - this is so worth a few months at least. If you find ds truly is just needing his own thing and dd really is just needing her own thing, then he could continue on full-speed with BHFHG only more independently, and dd could continue on half-speed but more with you helping her. Just continue to pray about it - the Lord loves you so much that He will make clear the best path to choose - He surely loves you are raising your dc to know Him and to revere Him! He is good and faithful, and He will bless that diligence you are giving to teaching your children about Him with clarity.

In Christ,
Julie

[bethelmommy]

Thank you so much for your kind words Julie. Our company left yesterday and we start LHTH and Bigger 1/2 speed tomorrow. I don't know who is more excited, me or the kids!

[bethelmommy]

It's been a few weeks and I thought I would update for those interested or facing a similar situation at some point. We tried 1/2 speed for a few weeks and it was not a good fit for my oldest ds. It was not enough. School was taking until 11 or 11:30 even at 1/2 speed because we were constantly waiting on dd to finish a subject and ds was left with nothing to do because he had already finished all of his independent work and was sitting around waiting for the next "combined" activity.

So, this week I let ds take off on his own at full speed at it has been wonderful! He completes cursive, grammar, math, and any independent science reading first thing in the morning before breakfast. Then, we complete the other boxes as able after breakfast. The notebooking, experiments, and vocabulary he is able to do mostly on his own once we go over the instructions together. We meet for DITHOR, history reading, bible, and poetry. He could easily read the history on his own but it only takes a few minutes and I enjoy having that time with him, so we are continuing that together for now. He has finished everyday this week by 10-10:30 and is excited to be done even earlier despite doing more work.

So, now I need to figure out what to do with dd. This week she has only been doing math, cursive, grammar, DITHOR (orally) and Storytime (combined with ds) while I focused on getting ds up to full speed. I now need to figure out a good half speed schedule for her. She does not need to redo LHFHG or Beyond as she fully participated in those guides and is fully able to comprehend the history, bible, science, and poetry in Bigger. The biggest obstacle for her is all the writing. Daily grammar, spelling, cursive, math, and notebooking/vocabulary are too much for her right now, so I need to figure out the best way to break everything up until she matures a bit. Even 1/2 speed has been a struggle for her as she is easily distracted. She really enjoys playing with her younger siblings and I want to give her that time since she is only in 1st grade and it frees me up to focus on ds. She also enjoys helping teach LHTH to her younger siblings.

If you have managed to read this far and have any ideas/experience/advice, it would be greatly appreciated. I am fine if she stays 1/2 speed all this year and waits until 2nd grade to bump up to full speed if that doesn't cause any problems with acquiring skills for later guides. I would even consider 1/3 speed for the writing if there was a way to do that for a few weeks/months as this is truly where she struggles most. I just have no idea how that would work effectively. Should I maybe consider just sticking with the 3 R's until Christmas and then picking up the guide 1/2 speed in January? Thanks everyone!

[MelInKansas]

It sounds like 1/2 speed will work well for her. My DD just started Bigger at 7.5 and the writing is pretty steep for her right now so I do make accomodations. Sometimes I write part of it or something. We spread out the projects throughout the day. She likes the notebooking where she can draw and really seems to be doing well with that part, but the writing is a struggle.

So 1/2 speed and then working her up to where she can handle that load would be what I would maybe suggest.

[my3sons]

...So, this week I let ds take off on his own at full speed at it has been wonderful! He completes cursive, grammar, math, and any independent science reading first thing in the morning before breakfast. Then, we complete the other boxes as able after breakfast. The notebooking, experiments, and vocabulary he is able to do mostly on his own once we go over the instructions together. We meet for DITHOR, history reading, bible, and poetry. He could easily read the history on his own but it only takes a few minutes and I enjoy having that time with him, so we are continuing that together for now. He has finished everyday this week by 10-10:30 and is excited to be done even earlier despite doing more work...

HOORAY! I am so glad you have found the right placement for your ds, and it sounds like he is off and running! Way to go!

...So, now I need to figure out what to do with dd.

Yes, I totally agree! I am finding it somewhat of a relief to just focus on her now, as we can feel so good ds is all figured out and thriving! I want that same result for dd. So, could you please share specifically about your dd's reading (what is she reading for DITHOR), writing (how much can she write - words, sentences - can she do copy work, if so, how much?, spelling/dictation (what is she doing for these areas?), cursive (what program or none yet?), grammar (can she write answers or at the oral level), math level (what level?), is she 7 yo/1st grade?. All of this will be sooooooo helpful!!! We are on our way to good placement for both of your sweet kiddos - on the cusp of it - I can feel it!

In Christ,
Julie

[bethelmommy]

Yes, I totally agree! I am finding it somewhat of a relief to just focus on her now, as we can feel so good ds is all figured out and thriving! I want that same result for dd. So, could you please share specifically about your dd's reading (what is she reading for DITHOR), writing (how much can she write - words, sentences - can she do copy work, if so, how much?, spelling/dictation (what is she doing for these areas?), cursive (what program or none yet?), grammar (can she write answers or at the oral level), math level (what level?), is she 7 yo/1st grade?. All of this will be sooooooo helpful!!! We are on our way to good placement for both of your sweet kiddos - on the cusp of it - I can feel it!

In Christ,
Julie

Hi Julie,

Thanks for working out the details for dd with me. Dd is doing level 2 readers for DITHOR. We just finished the mystery genre. She is easily able to read at a higher level, but I wanted her to stay a level behind ds, at least until they split to girl/boy interest levels later on. She reads really well, but is not as strong as ds in sounding longer words out phonetically. I started her on ETC to remedy that. She completes that independently. I have her read to me part of the assigned reading each day, but not all. At this level she rarely mispronounces a word. I have her do DITHOR with me orally, though not everyday, usually just for group activities, discussion days, and end of book projects (she really likes those). I was planning to have her start the 2/3 student book once she and ds make it back around to the biography genre this spring.

For writing, dd can write sentences but asks me to spell EVERYTHING. She can do copy work, but is having trouble transitioning to regular lined paper and copying from a book. In Beyond, I would write her copy work on 3 lined paper and she would copy beneath that. She could usually copy 2-4 lines of a poem depending on length. We started cursive toward the end of Beyond and dropped the copy work. DS's OT recommended he switch because of his CP and dd wanted to start too, of course:). It was my mistake to let her as her printing was not yet where I wanted it to be (spacing and consistency in letter formation), but we are now 2/3rds through Cheerful Cursive. She actually did really well with it until the 3 lines started disappearing on the practice pages. She also does not have much experience with the grammar and alphabetizing that is added toward the end of the program and this causes her some frustration. Dd just started R&S 2 when we started Bigger last month. She can write the answers, but it takes her a long time and she doesn't like it. She can answer orally without any problems.

For spelling, dd is on list 2. She does fine with pattern words. The red flags popped up at the end of list 1 when we got to words that didn't follow a pattern. At the end of the days of the week/seasons spelling list week, she would still spell Thursday as Thrsday, Saturday as Strday, summer as smr, etc... I think this will improve as we continue through ETC. It was a bit startling for me to discover this problem. She learned to read so quickly and fluently at such a young age that I just assumed spelling would come naturally.

For math dd is in Singapore 2a. The level of work is relatively easy for her, but the increased number of pages in 2a on top of everything else is only adding to her frustration. Dd just turned 7 this month and is in 1st grade. I'm sorry this is so long. I wanted to be thorough to give you the clearest picture possible. Thanks!

[luv2homeschool]

Personally, I would just give her time to grow this year. My suggestion would be to just focus on the 3R's for your DD and not worry about anything else. She is still young, so if she loves playing with her younger siblings then I would let her do that. My DD has an amazing imagination and LOVES to play. I don't want to put a damper on that as I see the neighborhood girls growing up way too fast. What works best for us is for DS and I work on RTR in the morning while she has 2 hours of free play, then she and I work really hard for an hour before lunch and get most of Bigger done.

My DS's first grade year was our first hs'ing. We did reading, math, and LA and I got library books about topics he was interested in.

[MelInKansas]

Thanks for working out the details for dd with me. Dd is doing level 2 readers for DITHOR. We just finished the mystery genre.

So for this it sounds like keeping her in level 2 readers is a good place for her to be, a little challenge but not too much and some interesting books. So it sounded like you don't have her do all of DITHOR though, you just have her do projects at the end of the genre?

For writing, dd can write sentences but asks me to spell EVERYTHING. She can do copy work, but is having trouble transitioning to regular lined paper and copying from a book. In Beyond, I would write her copy work on 3 lined paper and she would copy beneath that. She could usually copy 2-4 lines of a poem depending on length. We started cursive toward the end of Beyond and dropped the copy work. .... Dd just started R&S 2 when we started Bigger last month. She can write the answers, but it takes her a long time and she doesn't like it. She can answer orally without any problems.

It sounds like here that if you were 1/2 speed with Bigger, with all the writing in there, but focussing on gradually having her write without 3 lines, smaller, with good spacing. So the idea that less is more, it is more important for her to do it well than for her to do a large amount. Something to keep in mind is that most people do R&S mostly orally, because of the rest of the writing load in the guides. I think you could switch to orally on R&S without too much worry. You could cut back or give her more help with some of the other writing too, but as quickly as possible have her doing all of what is written in the guide (even if half speed) for the other writing. So, Cheerful Cursive, notebooking, vocabulary, copying the verse, etc. If you do the DITHOR workbook you could also do that all orally. I do help my DD with the writing in vocabulary. When my oldest went from Beyond to Bigger she really had a problem with the writing too, but part of that was that I didn't know she needed to be able to write without lines. I would, for her notebooking, where she has to write a verse or something, copy part of it for her, and then draw lines on the paper for her to use (either just a bottom line or all 3 lines if you think she needs them). You will want to transition away from that, but you can do it more gradually. Also I would recommend you sit with her while she writes, and gently help her with the things like spacing that she still needs work on. Again emphasize to her that it's really important to do a small amount and do it really well.

For spelling, dd is on list 2. She does fine with pattern words. The red flags popped up at the end of list 1 when we got to words that didn't follow a pattern. At the end of the days of the week/seasons spelling list week, she would still spell Thursday as Thrsday, Saturday as Strday, summer as smr, etc... I think this will improve as we continue through ETC. It was a bit startling for me to discover this problem. She learned to read so quickly and fluently at such a young age that I just assumed spelling would come naturally.

My 7..5 year old is the same way. She will get the spelling words right (or more of them right) if the list has a pattern she can remember. She did really poorly with the lists of days of the week, colors, and numbers. Good thing we will do them again at the end of Bigger! 1/2 speed would give you more time to practice and you could do some more creative things with it if you want, practicing spelling words every day (so for 8 days instead of 4). But I don't know if you need to do that, it's just an idea. Her reading will help her spelling, I think you just need to give it time.

For math dd is in Singapore 2a. The level of work is relatively easy for her, but the increased number of pages in 2a on top of everything else is only adding to her frustration. Dd just turned 7 this month and is in 1st grade. I'm sorry this is so long. I wanted to be thorough to give you the clearest picture possible. Thanks!

Again 1/2 speed would help with this. Is it the writing in the workbook she is frustrated with? You say she is pretty much on track with the concepts. My DD likes math so she has never complained about the amount of writing in math. You could break up the math into 1/2 speed, having her do 1/2 of the lesson each day. But it seems it would be far easier to just have her do math every other day, with the 1/2 speed schedule.

She is just really so young for Bigger. Bigger is where it starts being serious school and with my oldest, who was 7.5 when we started, it was just too much and she wasn't quite ready for the jump. Also again, I didn't really know where we were going and so I didn't prepare her well. I did a better job of transitioning my 2nd born DD because I knew what she would have to do in Bigger so I pushed her more in the second half of Beyond. I did 1/2 speed with my oldest for a while, probably 5-6 months, and then we went back to full speed and it got a lot better. But she is still pushed in the area of writing and it is still an area of battle and struggle with her on a pretty regular basis. I feel bad about that, but like you I don't see how I can go back or slow down more than I already have. She is ready and can do the work in all other areas, and I know she can do writing too. But I do expect her to do all the work now, so we just get through as best we can. Doing it one-on-one with her and letting her know that I am there to help her out if she really gets stuck helps (not just stuck because of her poor attitude about it, though I do "help" in those cases too but not in the way she would like). I hope you are able to figure out how to approach it with her and how to make your school time with her go more smoothly.

[8arrows]

She is missing the vowels in her spelling. I have my children clap the word as they say it when they are missing vowels. If the word has 2 claps, there are 2 syllables, and each syllable needs at least one vowel. This has been really helpful at our house. There is also, definitely, just a point where spelling becomes a little easier after decoding is an afterthought. My children are not the world's greatest spellers, but this has definitely helped!

[bethelmommy]

Personally, I would just give her time to grow this year. My suggestion would be to just focus on the 3R's for your DD and not worry about anything else. She is still young, so if she loves playing with her younger siblings then I would let her do that. My DD has an amazing imagination and LOVES to play. I don't want to put a damper on that as I see the neighborhood girls growing up way too fast. What works best for us is for DS and I work on RTR in the morning while she has 2 hours of free play, then she and I work really hard for an hour before lunch and get most of Bigger done.

My DS's first grade year was our first hs'ing. We did reading, math, and LA and I got library books about topics he was interested in.

Thanks for your insight Christine. Part of me totally wants to take this route. However, I worry there will be repercussions in taking so much time off from a complete guide. Also, dd is already missing the other activities to which she is accustomed. She keeps trying to jump in on ds's history, science, bible, and poetry activities. I somehow need to work it out so that she feels like she has her own "HOD guide" time .

[bethelmommy]

She is just really so young for Bigger. Bigger is where it starts being serious school and with my oldest, who was 7.5 when we started, it was just too much and she wasn't quite ready for the jump. Also again, I didn't really know where we were going and so I didn't prepare her well. I did a better job of transitioning my 2nd born DD because I knew what she would have to do in Bigger so I pushed her more in the second half of Beyond.

Yes, this is pretty much the situation I am in now and I will definitely have a better idea of how to make sure my next two are prepared when their time comes. The transition for ds was so easy and I feel so bad for dd because she seems a little soured on school now when that was not the case before we hit this bump.

To answer some of the questions in your post above- for DITHOR, we do most of the scheduled days that do not include writing from the student book (kickoff, discussion days, some character trait days, and projects). It's mostly a time issue for me because I would need to do all of the writing for her. Also, I don't want to start in the middle of the student book as she jumped in at the genre ds was on once she finished all the ER's and supplemental titles. I plan to have her start the student book when we make it back around to the biography genre this spring. I will probably still need to do a bit of writing for her, but I am hoping she will be ready to write some on her own.

The math issue is mostly just the length of the assignment. She gets distracted and tired with too much seat work at once and then starts to make careless errors which require even more time to fix. She did well with Beyond, but the increased amount of writing/seat work time in Bigger has been a struggle for her. I think I just need to figure out a gentler way to ease her into the increased work as well as work out a pace for the guides that stretches them out a bit (2 guides over 3 years) so that she has time to mature and I can get her and ds into separate guides. Thanks for your suggestions. I will look at implementing some of them as she works through this transition.

[bethelmommy]

She is missing the vowels in her spelling. I have my children clap the word as they say it when they are missing vowels. If the word has 2 claps, there are 2 syllables, and each syllable needs at least one vowel. This has been really helpful at our house. There is also, definitely, just a point where spelling becomes a little easier after decoding is an afterthought. My children are not the world's greatest spellers, but this has definitely helped!

Thanks for this tip. I'm not sure why she can't seem to remember vowels, but that is definitely a problem she has with spelling .

[MelInKansas]

It sounds like you are doing pretty well with DITHOR then, and probably you would have her do the 2/3 all the way through where she does complete the activities and workbook pages, etc. That would have been an ideal transition for my oldest actually, the reading, and the discussions and projects. She has always loved the projects.

Bigger took us almost 1.5 years. Preparing has only taken a year, she really took off with the independence and she was almost 9 when we started it. If your oldest takes off and is really racing through Bigger and Preparing you might have them in separate guides in about a year's time. I wish you great success with it! Blessings!