Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

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Kims
Posts: 215
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:20 pm

Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by Kims » Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:52 am

I know it's hormonal ups and downs and I am on bio-identical hormones but I still have very up and VERY down days. But everyday with schooling I am overwhelmed. I know that with HOD I should not be so overwhelmed but I am. I need to do two guides this year but honestly I don't think I can even get one guide done. I am supposed to be doing Bigger (with my 9yo) and LHFHG (with my 7yo). I know LHFHG is easy I have done it before but the thought of it overwhelms me. Then Bigger. I just can't seem to get it together. I am not sure why.
I don't even have a love for homeschooling anymore. I don't even like it. I know I don't have to, it's my job and I need to do it but it's hard. Today I can't quit crying and I am sick to my stomach.
On top of that my 9yo is behind in math and my 7yo can't read yet. I know it's ok that he can't read but teaching him is HARD.
I guess I'm just here asking for prayer. Plus any suggestions you have would be welcome. There are days I think I'm depressed and days I don't. Everyday I wake up dreading the day. I am ok while up before everyone and cleaning but then when people get up and need me I start to get overwhelmed.
I know this has nothing to do with HOD and this is an HOD board but I needed somewhere to talk with ladies that may understand. Also how to get HOD done suggestions would be welcome. :(
Kim S
Jamie 22, Sloane 19, Savannah 18, Collin 9, and Judah 7
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
― Albert Einstein

Samuel'sMommy
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Location: TN
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Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by Samuel'sMommy » Tue Aug 05, 2014 11:34 am

I have no advice on getting everything done, but I am definitely praying for you! Being a wife & a mom is hard work by itself, adding homeschool in the mix is just one more thing and can be overwhelming. I've had those days myself. For me having a schedule/routine helps alot in not feeling overwhelmed because I can look at my list and see that everything will get done I just have to make myself do it. That helps on the days when I'm just a little overwhelmed. Sometimes when I really have a lot going on and feel myself getting overwhelmed I just declare a mental health day and we take the day off school and go do something fun. I don't know if either of those ideas will be helpful for you but I'm sure the other ladies on here will have some great ideas. In the meantime, I will be praying for you and your family!
Stephanie
Wife to Adam for 19 years
Mom to Samuel (12) and Isaiah (2) through the miracle of adoption
Using and loving RTR!

Loved using LHTH, LHFHG, BLHFHG, BHFHG, PHFHG, & CTC!

LivinNandByHim
Posts: 76
Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:49 pm

Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by LivinNandByHim » Tue Aug 05, 2014 12:05 pm

Dear and Beloved Daughter of God, it's ok to be real and honest about what your are experiencing. Prayers going up for you, that the Prince of Peace Himself will overshadow you and bring peace and comfort and clear thinking in this time. My suggestion is completely Prioritize what is absolutely essential and let the rest go for a while. Reading, Math. For your older, use some online learning. Incorporate audio books from the library. Get lots of God time for you - quiet time, worship music, Bible reading or listening to audio (there are free apps for smart phones and likely online accessibility as well.) Stay connected to support persons. Continue to see your health practitioner. Accept the season you're in - accept and choose to be ok with where your kids are at academically - it's ok. Once you are feeling better, they will likely be ready (more ready) to pick up the skills they need. Maybe keep them in their guides at half speed... or again, just focus on reading and math for a while. Give yourself the GRACE you need in this time. Blessings!

Kims
Posts: 215
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:20 pm

Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by Kims » Tue Aug 05, 2014 4:46 pm

Thank you.
Kim S
Jamie 22, Sloane 19, Savannah 18, Collin 9, and Judah 7
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
― Albert Einstein

MelInKansas
Posts: 1700
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 7:32 pm

Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by MelInKansas » Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:00 pm

Hormones really kill me. I often wonder why God made them. Well, of course it was so we would get married and have children. But then, when they aren't doing those jobs, they just make us miserable (and mine are probably normal so I don't have a concept of what you are going through).

Blessings on you, dear mama. When your health is poor, just getting through a day is a mighty accomplishment in and of itself. I am praying for you, and I agree, you should decide what is a priority for you and your kids and what can go when it needs to go. I like to complete, so if I can't complete it in one day I just pick it up the next day (or whenever it is we get back to it). But perhaps just a few subjects are what you need to focus on right now, and teaching your kids life skills so they can help you out around the house and with cooking and things like that. I know times of need for me have been when I finally taught my kids how to do laundry, dishes, prepare simple meals, clean up and other things and that has been wonderful as time has gone on and we are all a family working together.
Melissa
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies never come to an end"

DD12 - Rev to Rev + DITHOR 6/7/8
DD10 - CTC + DITHOR 2/3
DD7 - Bigger + ERs
DS5 - LHFHG
DD2 - ABC123
2 babies in heaven

Carrie
Site Admin
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Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by Carrie » Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:06 pm

Kim,

The ladies are doing a wonderful job of uplifting and encouraging you in this tough season of your life. I, too, want to come alongside you and encourage you! I have a few practical suggestions that may be of help to you, or may bring to mind some other things that might help too. :D

First of all, I would make sure that you are getting enough rest. I found that with my hormonal imbalances and the constant vertigo, rest was essential. Allow yourself to sleep in a bit later if needed. Set your school start time later to allow for this if at all possible. If you still have older kiddos at home, have them be responsible for getting the littles going and getting breakfast going to give you time to ease into your day. Starting your day stressed is a hard way to begin. Perhaps, just accepting that you need to ease in to your start of the day will help. On the flip side though, be sure to have a general time you try to get going for the day, so you have a goal in mind. :wink:

Next, be sure to take time for your quiet time. With your busy schedule it may be a brief quiet time. Just try to be in the Word and in prayer daily. The Lord will minister to your Spirit during that time and all throughout the day. If needed, do this while you are eating your breakfast. This will help you have a time each day that is available for your quiet time. I must admit, my quiet time isn't always so quiet, as I do have interruptions. However, it is still a huge blessing for me to have that time with the Lord as it helps my frame of mind for the day. :D

Also, spend some time thinking of something in your day that you can look forward to doing. If we don't do this, then our days can quickly become drudgery as we perform the same tasks over and over without a break. I have found that I like older BBC series, and I order the DVDs and typically watch one episode of whatever my current series late each evening. We don't have cable or even network tv at our house, so DVDs are the only thing we watch. Having the DVDs means I don't waste time with commercials, and I can watch at a time that is convenient for me. I truly do look forward to that moment all day. It gives me time to decompress and to think about something different from my normal life. This may not be a fit for you, but it is important to find something that you can look forward to that is your own each day. :D I also try to go for a walk, either by myself, with my sister, with my husband, or with one of my boys. I don't get to it everyday, and we don't walk far due to my imbalance/vertigo, but it is good for me. :D My husband and I do try to go on a date each week too (when I feel well enough to go). So those are other possibilities.

I would also encourage you to continue on with your health practitioner. If you haven't had a metabolic panel of bloodwork done it might be worthwhile to check if you have the right levels of iron, potassium, B12, etc. It also might help to check your thyroid level, and consider checking for West Nile and Lyme's Disease. My doctor checked all of these things for me with a blood test, and I actually discovered I was taking too many vitamins! I had too much B6 and too much Iodine (which actually made my thyroid worse). I pulled back to just D3 and fish oil and feel much better in many ways. My thyroid was also out of whack too, due mainly to the iodine, so these things may be worth checking for you too. :D These all contribute to fatigue, mood swings, and imbalance.

As far as school goes, I agree that it can be hard work. It can be tough to gear up for the littles the way we did the big kiddos, but it also will relieve much of the guilt it sounds like you are carrying if you go forward with the little ones' school. I carry guilt around for many things with my little ones too, but the fact is that we are in the stage of life we are in and we must turn our anxiety over to the Lord and allow Him to equip us to do His work. We need to lean on Him so much more during this stage of life, then we did in the previous stages. Without Him, we cannot go on!

If you do still have your older daughter at home, I would strongly consider having her do the left side of LHFHG and the LHFHG Storytime box with your 7 year daily. It would take her about 35 min. to do. If your older daughter is not available during the day, you could consider having her do it in the evening instead if that worked better. Think of it as quality time between your daughter and her little brother. That would leave you only the remaining three boxes on the right side of the LHFHG guide to contend with doing each day. It would also allow you to regularly get in phonics, which I can tell is really bothering you based on what you've shared so far. :D I understand completely, as I am bothered by my last little guy's phonics journey too. I just didn't move forward with it like I should have, and now we are paying the price. He is progressing, but I have had to make it a priority. :wink:

As far as Bigger goes, I would downshift to half speed, splitting one day over two. However, I would make a point of doing math daily, as I can hear that this is another stressor. Finding your stressors and addressing them will help you so much! I know it helps me. :D

Doing these two things with LHFHG and Bigger will cut your schooling time back, keep you at a less frantic pace, and allow you to enjoy your time with your kiddos more. I would make an overall schedule that includes a later start time and includes quite a few breaks at times that would allow you to slow down throughout the day as needed. Enlist the help of your kiddos, and when you aren't feeling well tell them, so they are especially ready to help. A family has to pull together when the mama doesn't feel well, because she simply is unable to keep it all going on her own. :D Ask me how I know these things are true!

Another thought I had was that perhaps, your husband might be willing to have a 30 min. time at night to help the child in Bigger complete any remaining school work from the day? A spillover time like that gives you some needed grace during the day. Maybe it could be right after the evening meal, as you're clearing table and doing dishes? Perhaps it could even be math that your hubby does so that it gets done regularly?

Anyway, these are just some thoughts I had to help you through this season of your life. Children learn valuable lessons from having to jump in and help. They become less self-centered and more servant-hearted. The Lord can use this situation for all of your benefit, but just keeping going the way things have always been is not going to be the answer. Change is needed. You can still progress each day, but you may have to settle for a slower pace overall. Steady progress forward will help you feel less guilty, and letting others help you is going to be imperative. So, think on these things and hopefully you will find some things that will work for you. :D We're all here for you! :D

Blessings,
Carrie

Kims
Posts: 215
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:20 pm

Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by Kims » Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:24 pm

Thanks Carrie for taking the time to respond. I too have vertigo although it is much better than years past most days. Mine is BPPV so it's positional and when it gets bad I do my "exercises" for it and that helps. I pray yours heals quickly.
Kim S
Jamie 22, Sloane 19, Savannah 18, Collin 9, and Judah 7
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
― Albert Einstein

queenireneof3
Posts: 173
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:44 am

Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by queenireneof3 » Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:31 pm

Kim,

I am praying for you too. You have been given wonderful practical advice already, so I won't burden you with more ideas.

I just wanted to say I identify with hormonal craziness as I am just completing my second miscarriage since spring. Add grief and caring for small children to my mix, and you get a definite recipe for being overwhelmed!

My friend suggested to me that this season of trials could be a test of worship. Not saying God gives us difficulties just to see if we'll still worship Him, but rather, seeing it as an opportunity to worship God even when life feels hard and out of control. "All of my life, in every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship."

I took that to heart and purchased a new worship album (Only King Forever by Elevation Worship) that I had heard some songs from at our church and knew I really liked. I literally blast that music and sing as loud as I can whenever I have the chance. (The car is awesome for this!) My kids have learned the songs with me and we all enjoy singing it loudly. Singing loudly to God completely changes my mood. My hormones seem to balance out and my perspective is refocused on what matters. Find an old or new worship song and sing your heart out to God all day if you have to! One day I left the CD on repeat and listened to it the entire day because I needed God to be my focus. Pandora also has great stations for worship that give you a variety of new songs as well.

I second the idea that time with God through reading, praying, listening, should be priority. That is the focus that puts the rest of life back into place.

Praying your worship of Him drives away the out of whack hormones. :D
Sara Irene
wife to Brett for 16 years already!
mommy of ds B (13yo), dd S (11yo), ds S (7yo), dd (3 yo), dd (1.5yo), and two who went to meet Jesus 3/5/2014 and 7/23/14

Carrie
Site Admin
Posts: 8035
Joined: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:39 pm

Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by Carrie » Wed Aug 06, 2014 1:48 pm

Kim,

I'm so sorry you suffer from vertigo! I continue to see a physical therapist for my vertigo. The neurologist thinks I have uncompensated labyrinthitis with BPPV. So, I have vestibular rehabilitation exercises I do for that twice daily. I am praising the Lord for improvement, even though it is a journey. :D

There are many good suggestions in this thread. I pray you will be encouraged. :D

Blessings,
Carrie

Kims
Posts: 215
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:20 pm

Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by Kims » Wed Aug 06, 2014 3:17 pm

I think I am coming out of the fog of the past two days. We shall see what tomorrow holds. On my good days it's really good. on my bad then really bad. :(

I do rest pretty well most of the time so I think I am getting the rest I need.
My daughter is in cosmetology school and I don't think she could even attempt to school Judah after a day there.
We own our own business so it's hit and miss if my dh is here and can help or not. He is very willing to do whatever I would want though. He already does all the shopping so I don't have to do any of that. He also takes my daughter to school and back daily, as she is not driving yet. He is willing to take on whatever I want him to though but I think that would stress me more. I mean if I can control when it gets done at least I know it is. If he didn't do what/when I thought was needed it may make it worse for me.

I have about 2 weeks ago made sure I have time in the morning to read my bible and pray. I always journal my prayers. I have not really seen that it made a difference yet but I am sure it will. I know it's important and I know it's what I need to do.

Thanks ladies for all the responses. I will read over them again and glean what I can from them. It has been a big help to know you care and are praying.
Kim S
Jamie 22, Sloane 19, Savannah 18, Collin 9, and Judah 7
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
― Albert Einstein

Carrie
Site Admin
Posts: 8035
Joined: Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:39 pm

Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by Carrie » Wed Aug 06, 2014 4:52 pm

If your daughter is not available to help with LHFHG, do you have any of your other older kiddos still living at home that might be able to help with LHFHG instead? Or, maybe you could even rotate your older kiddos each taking a certain day of the week to help with LHFHG? If not, I'd be inclined to divide LHFGH over two days, doing the left side one day and the right side the next day. In that scenario I would still do phonics every day.

If doing two half-speed guides still feels too huge right now, then you could consider the scenario below for a time. It wouldn't be a permanent solution, but it would be a way to move forward without feeling so overwhelmed right now. :D

Perhaps for a season you could have your 9 year old listen in and be the helper for your 7 year old in LHFHG, and you could do the left side and the story time of LHFHG with both kiddos. Then, you could have each kiddo do his/her own 3Rs. So, you'd do the left side of LHFHG with both kiddos together and then do phonics/math/fine motor skills from LHFHG for your younger child and DITHR, math, Cheerful Cursive, dictation, and English 2 daily from Bigger for your older child. While this sounds like a huge step back for your 9 year old, for now it would allow you to combine the two kiddos and still keep them moving forward in their 3Rs. It might also restore some of your joy in schooling to have less on your plate for awhile. Then you could return to the rest of Bigger once you felt better.

Anyway, just some out of the box thoughts to ponder.

Blessings,
Carrie

quiverfull
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Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2011 9:08 pm
Location: NH

Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by quiverfull » Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:21 pm

Carrie, your post was filled with such wisdom. Thank you for taking the time to write it all out, even though it wasn't specifically for me. I agree, it is much harder in this "season" of life. A lot of "leaning" is needed.
Wife for 28 years….Mom to 9~
Four graduated, five still in school. 26, 23, 22, 19, 17, 15, 13, 9, 8


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quiverfull
Posts: 110
Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2011 9:08 pm
Location: NH

Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by quiverfull » Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:35 pm

Carrie wrote:Kim,

Also, spend some time thinking of something in your day that you can look forward to doing. If we don't do this, then our days can quickly become drudgery as we perform the same tasks over and over without a break. I have found that I like older BBC series, and I order the DVDs and typically watch one episode of whatever my current series late each evening. We don't have cable or even network tv at our house, so DVDs are the only thing we watch. Having the DVDs means I don't waste time with commercials, and I can watch at a time that is convenient for me. I truly do look forward to that moment all day. It gives me time to decompress and to think about something different from my normal life.

Blessings,
Carrie


This is so true. Great advice!
Wife for 28 years….Mom to 9~
Four graduated, five still in school. 26, 23, 22, 19, 17, 15, 13, 9, 8


Used/Using
WH
WG
MTMM
Rev2Rev
CtC
Preparing
LHFHG

Kims
Posts: 215
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:20 pm

Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by Kims » Wed Aug 06, 2014 7:06 pm

Spoke with my husband a bit tonight and I think we have a plan. For days like yesterday and today I am going to have all the educational videos I have available for the kids. I have several. I have the whole Moody science series, the Liberty Kids series, several leap frogs and schoolhouse rock and the Magic school bus is available on netflix. I may even make a new profile on netflix and just put in educational videos/documentaries. When I can get some of Bigger in I will. I think I will be skipping LHFHG right now. He has done it before and I just can't add it in. He will learn from Bigger he understands and narrates better than his older brother. So for now that's the plan. Thanks again for all your prayers and support and wise words. I will incorporate a lot in my day.
Kim S
Jamie 22, Sloane 19, Savannah 18, Collin 9, and Judah 7
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
― Albert Einstein

MelInKansas
Posts: 1700
Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 7:32 pm

Re: Ladies I am totally overwhelmed

Post by MelInKansas » Wed Aug 06, 2014 7:12 pm

Sara Irene - I am really sorry to hear about your losses and struggles as well. Yes God is good through those times but they are still hard times to go through. I will say a prayer for you also. For joy, peace, strength, comfort. Blessings to you.

I'm so glad you have thought of a way to make things simpler for you KimS. I will pray that the plan will help you draw near to the Lord and trust Him and to get through this hard time.
Melissa
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
His mercies never come to an end"

DD12 - Rev to Rev + DITHOR 6/7/8
DD10 - CTC + DITHOR 2/3
DD7 - Bigger + ERs
DS5 - LHFHG
DD2 - ABC123
2 babies in heaven

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