Becoming a single mom

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Joined: Wed Aug 28, 2013 5:01 pm
Location: Pierce, CO

Becoming a single mom

Post by learningtolove » Mon Feb 17, 2014 3:13 pm

Hello everyone,

My name is Bryn. I have a son who is in Preparing at the age of 10, and a daughter age 5 who is starting Little Hearts. We just started both of these guides last week. I am excited at the conversations coming from our reading, especially with the bible reading!

Unless the LORD steps in and intervenes, I am on my way to becoming a single mom.

Is there anyone here who is single or who has been single and can you give me any encouragement or pointers on how to continue homeschooling while having to go back to work? I have probably until the end of summer before I really need to have income set in place by God's grace, but I know I will have to find some kind of work. I would like to work from home if possible or part time.

If you can offer how you blocked off your time to keep up with everything, any other sites, groups, or sources to help in this new phase of my life, I would be greatly appreciative.

Thank you for any prayers of deliverance and trusting completely, being patient and waiting for answers before moving forward.

God bless you all!

Posts: 355
Joined: Thu May 03, 2012 10:14 pm
Location: Kansas

Re: Becoming a single mom

Post by TrueGRIT » Mon Feb 17, 2014 5:16 pm

I can't help you from a personal perspective, but from a friend from church.
In her case she had to work outside the home for a couple years first, but another family graciously offered to homeschool her children (alongside her own)for a very minimal wage. She then was able to come home and work and teach them herself.
In her case the children were a bit older and more independent, therefore she could work with them more morning, lunch, evening. Your Preparing child is learning independence at this time, but would not be there yet.
There is an acquaintance who devotes 3 hours in the morning to teaching, and does her job early morning, and in the afternoon.

There are many working mothers on this board who should be able to help & encourage you. Just wanted to offer my encouragement and prayers toward the changes in your family. I feel HOD guides make this very doable to work and teach at the same time.
Ds 12- tutoring
Ds 9- Preparing
Dd 7 - Beyond and ER's
Ds 2- LHTH (sort of)

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Location: Northwest Missouri

Re: Becoming a single mom

Post by Mamamindy » Wed Feb 19, 2014 9:27 am

Being a single homeschooling mom is a topic that is close to my heart. Five years ago my husband left for work one morning as usual, and never returned. Overnight, with no warning at all, I became a single mom to five children ages one to eleven. I had no education or work experience to speak of. I faced a lot of pressure to put the kids in public school and get a "real" job, but I knew without a doubt God's will was for me to be home with my children.

I can honestly say it was only by God's miraculous provision that we survived the three years I was single. I never had employment, but I always was on the lookout for odd jobs or things I could do on my own time and include the kids. I would sell on eBay and Amazon, I donated blood plasma twice a week (I hated it, but paid about $25 for an hour of my time), I babysat & house cleaned, I had a merchandise route, I did medical transcription, etc. I also got on food stamps and kids got state health insurance. A lot of people told me it was wrong to accept government assistance. My response to that is if I put my kids in government run schools in order to get a "real job" that is just another form of government assistance. I would rather ask the state to help put food on the table than to help raise my kids. I also did everything I could to cut back on expenses. We heated our home with firewood that I gathered & split myself. In the summer we left a/c off and windows open. I did not buy anything new. Our needs were met, but there were a lot of things we just did without. To be honest, it was very hard :cry: Had I been single much longer I would have sought full time employment, but when I first became single I still had two babies in diapers. They had just lost their dad. I felt very strongly I needed to be with them full time no matter what sacrifices I had to make.

My advice to you would be to really seek God's will on how to meet your children's material needs, whether you should work full time or part time, if you should seek government assistance, if you should start your own business, etc. After you seek God, then TRUST HIM! Nothing will test your faith like being a single parent seeking to raise her children for God's glory. It is just plain hard, but I also believe God gives extra grace and mercy to such moms.

The next thing I would say is to pour into your eleven year old. Teach to his heart and train his character so that he can be a great help with the five year old. Teach them both independence, but don't push them to grow up too fast. Everyone should be pitching in around the house. Make sure each child has daily chores appropriate to their abilities. I also suggest training the kids to be as independent as possible with their schoolwork. Of course you have a ways to go with your youngest, but by third grade she should be able to do quite a bit on her own. Two of my boys did the Bob Jones videos for math and phonics in kindergarten and first grade because I simply did not have the time to teach them and I didn't want them to miss a firm foundation in these two important subjects. Your eleven year old should be able to do most of his work independently. HOD is very good about teaching the kids gradual independence. When he gets to CTC more than half the work is independent.

I hope my rambling on has been of some help. Being a single homeschooling mom is the hardest thing I have ever done. But I absolutely would not have done it any different. I've made a lot of dumb decisions in my life, but staying home with my kids after their dad abandoned us was one of the best decisions I ever made. If you want to talk more feel free to PM me.

Mindy ~ Christ follower, wife, mom to 5, homesteader
DD (18) Graduated! Off to Bible College
DD (17) Eclectic curriculum
DS (12) Ressurection to Reformation
DS (10) Preparing Hearts
DS (9) Preparing Hearts

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Re: Becoming a single mom

Post by my3sons » Wed Feb 19, 2014 1:57 pm

Hi Bryn! I'm so sorry to hear about this. :cry: Sometimes a close Pastor or Christian counselor can really help hold a marriage together, but I do realize both parties have to be willing to try. I am wondering if you have any support system where you live? Do you have family nearby? A sister or brother, parents, or aunts/uncles? How about a supportive church or a few close friends? I work part-time, and I pay a gal that was homeschooled and is 23 years old to watch the boys 2-3 hours several times a week. It is fairly expensive to have her watch 3 boys though, so I have her come sparingly. My sister and brother-in-law are my best support system next to my dh, and I depend on their help often as my dh travels quite a bit. You are in my prayers! Please share if you can a little about any support system nearby. Then, we'll brainstorm!

In Christ,
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USII, MTMM
Wife to Rich for 25 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 20, 17, and 13
Author of Women's Devotional
Sister to Carrie

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Location: Pierce, CO

Re: Becoming a single mom

Post by learningtolove » Mon May 05, 2014 11:21 am

Thank you Mindy and Julie,

Mindy your story is convicting for me to hear. I praise God that He will provide for every need that we have. My situation is a bit different and am being financially supported by my husband, or separated husband. I am staying with my mom for awhile until I know what God has for me to do. Your story is convicting because I realize I still don't know what "hard" really is. You have inspired me to work harder in my own situation and also to trust God will provide wherever we end up or if things change and most of all to continue homeschooling:) Thank you for sharing your story with me. What a blessing you are!

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