s/o: Carrie's "long day" thread - how much sleep?

[abrightmom]

Carrie's post on how to trouble shoot "long days" has been a topic of consideration for me this week. Here is the link: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=12776. How much rest/sleep is appropriate for our children? I am really struggling with this. Of course, I realize it's hard to set a standard that applies to all kids all the time but I need some ball park times for how much sleep my children should be getting. I am especially struggling in this area with my 10 year old son. He always seems tired but his personality is somewhat "tired" if that makes sense. He is a slow mover, plodder, quiet, to himself kind of kiddo. He is NOT high energy, yawns a lot, but I think he gets enough actual sleep. He perks up by mid day and he isn't in a stupor at bedtime or anything. He sleeps approximately 10 -11 hours at night; no naps during the day. I'd really like to start the day earlier but I'm afraid to because he always seems tired and it's hard enough getting the day going with this particular kiddo.

[annaz]

Hi Katrina!

Well, my 12 yr old goes to bed at 9 and lights are out at 9:30. Sometimes I think she reads later than she should. She's up anywhere between 7:30 and 8:00am.

If she does something at night such as goes to Awana with a friend (we don't do this regularily) or she's had a weekend where she's had two busy days, then "I" pay for it if it falls on a school day. So we limit that, or we make sure she goes to bed earlier. I also remind her that if she is to do these things, she needs to be mindful that she has school in the morning and that she needs to go to bed earlier.

So her sleep depends upon what she's done and how her hormones are hitting her About 1 week out of the month she sleeps longer or during a growth spurt. So that seems to be between 10-11 hours. When I was young, I slept 12-14 hours and anything less than 9, I'm barely functionable.

[4Hispraise]

My 13 yo ds goes to bed at 9 & reads until 9:30. He usually sleeps until 7:30. He hops out of bed and right into life - gets dressed, makes bed, etc. We are both morning people, so we wake up with a rush of energy - mine dwindles quickly, his wears on all day long. Occasionally, he will sleep late - usually during a growth spurt.

[annaz]

We are both morning people, so we wake up with a rush of energy

Oh my word, people do this?

[Tansy]

Functonal before 9am how???

Now I remembered why I used to work the night shift...

[joyfulhomeschooler]

My 9 yr old goes to bed at 8 and lights out at 8 or 8:45 if he gets lost in a book and forgets... we then remind him He is up EVERY morning before 7am. Not sure why God gave me, a total non morning person, kids who are early birds. Anyways, I sometimes wonder if he gets enough because he also does the yawning and is overall a tired kind of kid. Not sure if that helps you or not.

[countrymom]

I can't find the chart I am thinking of right now, but under 10 hours for any school age child is generally not enough sleep. The average for youngers would be about 10-12 and prepurbertal teens need 9 1/2 - 10 hours according to a large research study. How to accomplish that can be another thing. I have a 7 1/2 yr old that has a hard time falling asleep and wakes up early, and he does complain of being tired a lot. Growth spurts can certainly affect a child too. One other thing to watch for with a child that seems to be tired a lot is their eating habits. Some of us fight blood sugar swings and that can make one very tired and fatigued. Since most of us do school in the morning our children need a solid breakfast with no sugar (again hard with those who can't eat a lot for breakfast). I struggle with my oldest in this area too, as he cannot eat much for breakfast. I try to make sure what he does eat is solid. For children schooling close to lunch a light, healthy snack might be needed.

[LynnH]

My ds 13 sleeps about 9 hours a night. He is asleep by 9:30 most nights, but he is wide awake and ready to go by 6:30 most mornings. My 17 year old is another story. She usually falls asleep by 10:30, but she wants me to wake her up at 7 so she can get started on her day. She doesn't really get out of bed until 7:30 though. She works 3 nights a week so she likes to get her school done by 2:30 or 3 so she can be ready for work at 5. If she didn't have her college dual enrollment classes or work she would prefer to go to sleep around 11 and not wake up until 8:30 or 9.

[abrightmom]

Thanks for sharing on this topic. My kids do eat a solid breakfast daily. They eat a lot and I emphasize protein in the mornings ALTHOUGH the 10yo does have blood sugar issues. I don't think it is a problem in the mornings because we always eat before starting the day. He crashes if he waits too long for food. I let them eat snack twice a day also. Lots to think about. I do not think I would be depriving him of sleep if I require him to rise at 7 or 730 as long as he's sleeping by 9 the night before.

[mom23]

My school-aged kids are 10, 8, and 6. They are getting around 10 hrs a night.

[my3sons]

...I do not think I would be depriving him of sleep if I require him to rise at 7 or 730 as long as he's sleeping by 9 the night before.

I agree whole-heartedly! You may as well give it a try and see if you notice a change! You can always go back to how it was if it was working better. Our 5 yo wants to be like big brothers and stay up longer at night, but he also wants to get up and have alone time with me early in the morning. We have to get him to bed sooner. Now that he can read, he likes to read in his bed after 7:30 like the big boys. He's probably sleeping from 8:30 PM to 7:30 AM now that I think about it. What a good reminder this post is to get my little honey to bed on time!!! My older boys (9 and almost 13 y share a room). Their favorite time together is in their room after 7:30 PM at night. They play their board games and read, read, read, and laugh, laugh, laugh. (I think they wrestle and shoot their Nerf guns on occasion too, until they hear big-bad-mama coming up the stairs to put a stop to it ). My 13 yo probably sleeps from 9:30 PM to 6:15 AM. My 9 yo probably sleeps from 9:30 PM to 7 AM. We are probably short on sleep in general here. I know I am! What a good thread and real food for thought! Thanks for bringing this up! I am now ready and armed to send the kiddos to bed earlier, and I can say when they ask why... because a-bright-mom said so, and a country-mom backed it up with research!

In Christ,
Julie

[moedertje]

We need to get on a good schedule here again, as well.
Plan B: At the beginning of the school year we had such a good routine! The 5 and 7 year old went to bed at 7:30 pm, lights out! My older one, who is now 10 would go down at 8:30pm. Dh and I at 10:00pm. We woke at 6:30am and they were getting up at 7:00am! They actually got used to the schedule, THAN.......WE decided to MOVE, so we had to PACK, stay up late to PACK and UNPACK once we got to the new house! Some bronchitis and walking pneumonia thrown in for the brothers and we are back on our LATE night schedule!
Plan A: We really originally are night people!!! , who love to sleep in till at least 9:00am!!!
Now with the help of you ladies...........................................I am making a goal to get back to Plan B Monday! . Biggest reason for me, is that no matter what time I get up in the am, by 2pm I begin to get a little testy . I forget to stay humble enough to tap into the marvelous grace available by our Lord and Saviour!
Blessings to all of you and hoping that on Monday we will all be able to start fresh and new!
GTY (Grace To You)

[TrueGRIT]

Everyone thinks our children get in bed early! Compared to some of yours we are late!!
My 3 & 5 yo's go to bed at 8:30 and 5 yo can read.
My 8 yo goes to bed at 9. Lights out 9:15.
If I put them in bed earlier they will just lay there. A couple times a week we can't go to bed earlier.
My 3 yo normally gets up anywhere from 6-8am. Will just lay there for nap time unless she got up at 6 or 6:30. (about 9-11 hrs)
My 5 yo will sleep until 7:30 or 8, & naps for an hour in the afternoon. ( about 11 hrs)
My 8 yo actually goes to sleep about 10 pm and wakes up about 7:30. (about 9 1/2 hrs) Never naps!
The only thing about this one is that he can't concentrate on school until 9:00. That's okay.
Our pediatrician said that they only need 10-11 hrs of sleep unless they're in a growth spurt. Nap time counts!

I do have a schedule for them to follow, but I also try to observe their needs of the day.
As long as it's not too far off we will allow that to dictate some of their sleeping/rest/break times.

[coastalmom]

My 9 yr. old dd was like your son when she was little. She was getting plenty of sleep at night but woke up tired and yawned all day. We started noticing that she was tossing and turning a lot in her sleep, and she snored. I started really sitting by her bed and watching her sleep, and she actually had moments where she would stop breathing for several seconds, and then toss and start breathing again. (Sleep Apnea). She also starting falling lower on the growth charts (she was a thin/petite girl already). She was even starting to have behavior problems during the day because she would get grumpy. She was five at the time. Anyway, long story short, we saw an ENT doctor and she had her adenoids out (not her tonsils because they were fine). Turns out her adenoids were huge and causing almost total obstruction with her breathing at night. Immediately following the surgery, she was a different kid. She shot back up on growth charts, woke up full of energy, beautiful behavior for the most part , and has been great ever since. Because of her sleep apnea her body wasn't getting the deep sleep it needed at night to grow or give her adequate rest. Just thought I'd share because sometimes kids are getting enough sleep, but not the quality of sleep they need. It's only b/c sleep apnea runs on my husbands side of the family that we even knew to look for this.

Also, diet like many said is so huge. Grains, especially wheat, really drains 2 of my children's energy and performance during the day. It doesn't seem to affect the other 2 as much, though. Just thought I'd share.

Blessings!

[Tansy]

The adenoids thing also effected my DD! We had about a 6 months of grace then the coughing started back up. Poor thing does not sleep well, we think due to Cilia not working well. Now that she has her vest she is sleeping better, not waking as much.

Nighttime enuresis (typically caused by the poor sleep patterns) , coughing, allergies = poor sleep for our girl which in turn = poor performance. Although I'd love to have my kids be doing school by 8am its just not realistic for us. For Sweet potato to be ready by 9am she has to medicate (10 min), do vest time (20 min) body check, room check, and eat breakfast. That burns a minimum of 60 minutes. She's going to bed at 9pm but not sleeping till 10pm. The 7:30am wake up is usually barely adequate for her to be ready by 9am for school.

I don't mind cause well I'm barely functional before 9am... mean while Little Miss Sunshine has done all independent work and is ready and raring to go. (she scares me a little).