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Should I separate my twins?

Heart of Dakota - Pondering Placement
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Pondering Placement

Question: Should I separate my twins by moving the more wiggly “Tigger-like” one down to Little Hands to Heaven?

One of my 5-year-old twins is very wiggly. He literally bounces (like Tigger) through the house. When I’m reading, he is standing up and moving. However, when I ask questions, he answers them using phrases from the book I just read, so I know he’s listening. I tell him some things he just has to learn in school, whether he wants to or not. But, then starts the rebellion and the ‘It’s too hard for me! I can’t do it!’ Am I being too hard on him? Is he just not ready for Kindergarten? His twin brother is doing great. Should I separate my twins and move my ‘Tigger” down to Little Hands to Heaven? Also, my 8-year-old doing Bigger Hearts is a VERY slow writer! It took him 45 minutes today to write one vocabulary card. With these 2, our days are long! Words of wisdom please! Thank you!

Carrie’s Reply: Rather than separating your twins, I’d keep them together and adjust the expectations you have for your ‘Tigger.’

While you could easily separate your twins by sliding your wiggly twin down into Little Hands to Heaven, I think you’d find that since you have twins you’d rather keep them together in the long run. So, in order to do that, there may be a bigger learning curve for your “younger” twin than there is for the “older” one. If you just expect that going into each day, you most likely won’t be as frustrated when his attention, concentration, and focus doesn’t seem to be up to the same level as the older twin. Your little one will come along too, it will just take time.

My own sons were quite different maturity-wise!

My sons have always done separate guides due to their ages, but I still find myself comparing them, just as you are comparing your twins. When I look at the difference among my boys, it never ceases to amaze me! My third little guy just wasn’t as school ready, maturity-wise, as my other boys were and just took a little longer to come into his own in that area. But, I want to encourage you that with him the difference in attention span and understanding was HUGE between being a young 5 (when we started Little Hearts for His Glory LHFHG) to when he was 6 and completing LHFHG.

I am careful to keep our activities moving forward quite quickly throughout the day.

I also have always been careful to keep all of our activities moving forward quite quickly throughout the day, so they do not get drawn out. We do each box and move on, being careful to systematically develop the habit of attention. I don’t re-read or discuss again or repeat an activity very often. This keeps our day on schedule and helps if kiddos don’t “love” a certain activity to realize that it’s only a small portion of their day before it’s over.

I’d set the timer for the vocabulary activity for your older son.

With your older one doing Bigger Hearts, I would recommend setting the timer for 15 minutes for vocabulary. If it isn’t done when the timer rings, set it aside to be done in the evening with daddy, and move on. This way it still gets done, but it isn’t dragging your school day out all day. I do use the timer for any activity that my kiddos dawdle at doing. This helps them stay on task and to realize that it won’t go on forever! This will work for your kiddos in their separate guides too!

A Quote About Dawdling from Charlotte Mason

Here’s a quote from Charlotte Mason’s Vol. I p. 141 on her thoughts about this: “Never let a child dawdle over a copybook or a sum, sit dreaming with his book before him. When a child grows stupid over a lesson (meaning daydreaming), it is time to put it away. Let him do another lesson, as unlike the last as possible, and then go back with freshened wits to his unfinished task. When the child returns to the lesson it is now time for the parent to “pull him through; the lesson must be done, of course, but must be made bright and pleasant to the child.”

So, rather than separating your twins, I’d keep them together but adjust expectations for your little “Tigger.” Given time, I think he will rise to the occasion and grow into his guide very nicely!

Blessings,
Carrie

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